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Showing posts from 2010

Sad, Disappoined, Pissed... All of it!

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Dear Reader, I wish I had something to update to you on a daily basis but I am not that busy. Actually, without sounding too negative, I wish I had something to update to you on a monthly basis, but I am not that busy. I was planning on waiting until I have something good to report, but I think the year is going to close without good news. Yes, I sound a little defeated but this is a temporary state of being. When I wake up, I would have put this whole thing behind me and working on the future. Okay, now you must be wondering what is going on because I have set it up quite well. It is painful for me to admit this. It really is. So, for the last few weeks I have merely been in denial about the reality of the situation, hoping that some miracle may appear to just fix everything, but I can’t dwell on something for that long, especially if it is denial of the truth. I won’t be naming names to avoid defamation or libel, but I will just speak the truth. The manager that I was raving

V Magazine

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Get it? V Magazine. Picture of myself on my "publication" like O Magazine? Moving on...  Dear Reader, I have been a little busy these last couple of days, but I’m not complaining. As a matter of fact, I have been very grateful to be working. There have been many times in the past where I have waited for something to happen, and here it is. Even with a little sleep deprivation on some days, I have been incredibly grateful to actually see that the universe has been conspiring to make things work out for me. It all started with meeting Idan Raichel and his gang called the Idan Raichel Project . I must admit, I didn’t know who he was but after meeting him, I had to wonder why I didn’t know him because he is such a prolific and influential musician. It doesn’t help that as celebrated as he was, he behaved in the most humble of ways, so it was after googling him that I realized that I was in the presence of history in the making. It made me reflect upon how people who a

Say What?

Dear Reader, For a while now I have been unable to come up with a worthy subject matter for these blogs. Usually I would leave it until I know what I want to discuss, but not this time. For some reason, I need to write. I don’t need to sing, to speak, to run nor to think, but to write. This usually happens when I am tense, just by the way. So, I put on this song called “Silent Spring by Massive Attack” and listened to it to see what emotions it evoked in me. I don’t know what she (Elizabeth Fraser) is saying in the song and I am making it a point to only look at the meaning of her words once I have explored my emotions. I am curious to see whether I will get her meaning even if I don’t understand the language. I am curious to see the transcendental power of music through this song. (Side note: French Hip-Hop is better than American Hip-Hop. Yeah, I said IT!) When I listen to this song I feel a deep sense of longing. I am longing for something that I once knew; something that I have

I Have Arrived!

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Greetings Guys, This will be a music update blog, not one of my rants about the degradation of humanity, as I usually rant. Most of you must be relieved because it has been years of listening to me go on and on… but, not this week. This week I am excited and relieved. This week I am happier and more relaxed, but it isn’t because I am high on some Mary J or something;  it is because I am on a natural high derived from sheer joy and gratitude. I don’t mean to rub it in anyone’s face, but life has done a total 180 and I find myself in a good space when it comes to my career. For starters, I have found a savior in my manager. He is not only focused, but he is also brilliant and an old friend to boot. He has totally transformed my music career because he is incredibly goal orientated and passionate about the product he is pushing (the product is my music, in case you thought he is pushing drugs I cooked up). I am going to be finally releasing my first single for the country of South Afri

It's My Birthday Today

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It's the 13th of September, and it is my birthday. I honestly don't know how to feel about birthdays. They never excite me nor do they depress me. They are just like other days, apart from the wonderful fact that I receive text messages and phone calls from my loved ones wishing me a good day and telling me how much they love me. I appreciate this day only because it connects me further to those I love, but other than that... As for what activities I should partake in on my birthday, I am unsure. I think I have taken the special out of birthdays because there is nothing I can only do on my birthday that I haven't done on any other day. I can buy a cake, and have bought a cake and put candles on it just for the heck of it. I do spoil myself regularly. I usually do all the things I like to do, like connecting with friends on a regular basis... So... I don't get birthdays. These days are one of those things about being human in this day and age that I do not understa

I Came Here not to be Understood, but to Understand.

Above is the song I was listening to as I typed this blog. Crank it up while you read. It might be fun. :) Dear Reader, It is not disrespect when I am being real. It is my faith in you that you can handle the truth. This is done with love and peace from the Creator, Umdali, as we say in my native language. I often wonder why I am so transparent in these blogs. There is a world full of people who would die first before they put themselves on the line by showing who they really are, so why do I find this so easy to do? There is a world of people living double lives, and I have chosen to live one life. Why? Where is my discretion? Where is my desire for privacy? Where is my “pride”? Well, the answer to that question is that (although it is an art which I have chosen to perfect) being transparent doesn’t mean that one can not be discreet, private or “proud”. As a matter of fact, I am so discreet and private that it borders on scary because I can honestly say that no-one knows me well

Long Time No Write

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Greetings Everyone, Wow! It has been a long time since I last wrote a blog. I have missed the ritualistic and therapeutic side of writing, and so, here I am again, ready to share what’s on my mind. I hope that I have something positive to share, but I am in a snarky mood, so don’t hold your breath awaiting positivity to come from me today. Firstly, let’s begin with what I have been doing all this time. Well, I have been taking a friggin holiday, is what. I left the city of Johannesburg for months and went to the South Coast (a range of small holiday towns where I grew up). I spent more time with my family, which is something which I hadn’t done much of since I left home after high school. Of course, I did visit during my time in Johannesburg, but it was never quality time visits. Instead it was one of those rushed visits because I wanted and had to go back to the city, or I was there because I was recovering from something (I experienced a bit of health problems in the last two yea

Dear Me

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I usually write a blog when I have some error in thought to correct (except for when I am reporting things that are music related). The things I write are my way of resolving something that has been swimming and whizzing in my mind for a while, something which I have been unable to compartmentalize properly in my mind.

Take Whatever You Want From This, If Anything.

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Forgiveness is an important act because it promotes acceptance of what is, which in turn promotes personal freedom. Although forgiveness seems to be something that one does for another, the truth is that to forgive another is to lighten one’s own burden. Forgiveness is a double edged sword, so sharp that it cuts not only through the shackles of guilt belonging to the one needing forgiveness, but it also breaks the shackles of pain around the “victim’s” heart. When one person sincerely asks another for forgiveness, we see clearly that hurting another is hurting the self – otherwise, there would be no need to ask for forgiveness for one’s trespasses if the trespasses, or consequences of, were pleasing to the perpetrator.

Ranting Again and Again and getting the same results! PART II

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I am aware that my emotional state is directly connected to the emotional state of the world, that what I feel right now is not just my burden that I am bearing, but that I carry the burdens of my organism also, the burdens of humanity. I am aware that while there are people in turmoil and in pain on earth, while there are people who hunger and thirst, while there are people who are diseased and ailed, not even the richest, healthiest and most abundant person could ever find lasting peace on Earth. I am you and you are me. I can not be at peace while my other self is haunted by demons.

Ranting Again and Again and getting the same results!

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One day I woke up understanding that most things, if not all, are not mutually exclusive, that they are what I now term as a Divine Dichotomy, a term I learned from Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the series of books called ‘Conversations with God’. I might not see eye to eye on all that these books discuss, but the books really aided me during a time when I was tongue-tied, and it loosened my tongue, allowing me to express what was inside of me. I kept on seeing paradoxes working harmoniously and simultaneously, and I couldn’t define this phenomenon until I read his books.

Love

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I am always getting ready to die, doing what pleases me and not the world, living a life without regrets and just consciously choosing to live a life that I am accountable for. I am always getting ready to die because I imagine that when death comes, it is when we have no unfinished business in this realm, no nagging feelings of “could haves”, “should haves” and “would haves”. So, when one day I realized that I was not ready to die, after many years of thinking that I was, I got a little worried (not seriously worried) because time is on my side, yes it is!

Gratitude!

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*I wrote this about 40 days and 40 nights ago. I wasn't going to post it, but since I am not inspired to write anything these days, and since I can pretty much do whatever I want... Here goes. Enjoy!* I'll edit tomorrow. I promise. :) I haven't slept and I am out of it right now... (excuses, excuses) My mind is like helium, and although that makes sense to me, I wonder if it makes sense to you. I mean that it is moving like its particles… Wait! Let me google that and double check if Helium particles do in fact move fast… Yes they do… Moving on... I can’t make and finish a sentence right now.  I am feeling like I am touching something magnificent and energizing, rejuvenating and sublime . Last night I had the most awesome sleep ever. I slept at my normal hours, in the early mornings, but I didn’t take my calming herbs to relax me before I slept. Instead I just closed my eyes, and slept. I am not even certain whether I was thinking of something in those minutes or h

Strive for the Best!

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I’m uncertain whether you guys have noticed that I have been making fewer errors and committing a decreased amount of typos than usual. It is not that I have found myself a ghost-writer, although you can never know, can you? The reason behind this sudden change is due to a better understanding of a few principles of life; the first of which being that, to produce something without care, and to present something that is below par, is intrinsically a disservice to the world. Dramatic? Maybe. Valid? Oh, yes! Not only does producing mediocre products not add value to people’s lives, but it also suggests a certain amount of disrespect (and an undermining) for the reader or the beholder. And we can’t have that, can we? Once I realized this, I immediately stopped being careless because I am many things, including being slightly full of shite, but I am not disrespectful.