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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Strive for the Best!

Medal

I’m uncertain whether you guys have noticed that I have been making fewer errors and committing a decreased amount of typos than usual. It is not that I have found myself a ghost-writer, although you can never know, can you? The reason behind this sudden change is due to a better understanding of a few principles of life; the first of which being that, to produce something without care, and to present something that is below par, is intrinsically a disservice to the world. Dramatic? Maybe. Valid? Oh, yes! Not only does producing mediocre products not add value to people’s lives, but it also suggests a certain amount of disrespect (and an undermining) for the reader or the beholder. And we can’t have that, can we? Once I realized this, I immediately stopped being careless because I am many things, including being slightly full of shite, but I am not disrespectful.


Secondly, I realized that to produce something in an inefficient manner brings me inefficient results. And we can’t have that either, can we? At least, not by conscious choice! Therefore, due to remembering these core values, I am now striving to produce the best that I can, within my capabilities, in everything that I do.

(I do my best in my music, for example, but that wasn’t enough. To do one’s best in one area of life, and to do average or below par in other aspects of one’s life = Dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment!

Go figure!

One has to do their best in all aspects of life to be fulfilled. Call me stupid but it took me a long time to realize this very simple thing. Therefore, due to remembering this, I have become more conscious about what I put out, from the time I wake up; to the time I go to sleep. I choose to be efficient in all that I do, big or small.)

This was not always the case. Initially, as a child, I was very diligent but not by conscious choice but due to having my mind, body and spirit in harmony, that being the benefit of being an innocent. All my achievements were very unconscious. I never knew how I did the awesome things I did. My ego drives were not strong and I did not identify much with the ego because it was undeveloped, the way it should always be. Then, as I grew older, and as the ego became stronger and stronger through experience, I begun to be rebellious to the point of self-destruction, and when I was not being rebellious, I was performing some sort of escapist act. In those times, my mind, body and spirit were not working in unison. The ego pretended to serve me for quite sometime, giving me some pay-off (like a pimp paying off his hooker by giving her a line of coke) even though it was not necessarily a beneficial pay off.

(People believe that bad experiences don’t give us pleasure because how sadistic can a person be to enjoy pain, but you’d be surprised at how many thrive, revel and get a fix from engaging in destructive behavior, destructive thought patterns and destructive activities so that they can reap some drama to fuss over as a distraction).

Anyway…

Because I am a creator, and not a destroyer, I got sick and tired of getting a kick from disharmony quite promptly and ventured to behave in a way that was more true to who I am. From observations, I have realized that this is a common occurrence and that many people do get sick and tired of doing things that are bad for them (if they don’t die from these destructive things). After realizing that my three-part being was not made for being battered and abused, I then endeavored to repair and restore myself in order to align myself with my purpose for existing (my purpose being, to evolve). To do so, I knew that I needed to begin destroying (or at least being master of) the ego. As I was fighting against the ego and slowly winning the fight, I came to realize that to be careless is to care less about oneself and that it is not admirable in any way. Knowing this didn’t allow me to do further damage. So, I am now careful, but not in a fearful way but in a caring way. Now I am merely reverting to my initial state of being balanced, but through choice and self-control, and not through my initial innocence and unconscious impulses.

(A side note: People find it something to be proud of when they don’t notice things, as in, “I don’t even know her name” or “People must know me, not the other way around”. People think that to care less about others, or to care less about things in general, is something to congratulate. As a person, I am the type that greets people if I notice them, a person who remembers things about people. I do not ignore people intentionally and so I have been criticized for this many times because it’s apparently weak and “groupie like” to relate to people as equals. But, this is how I was taught to be as a Zulu girl, to greet and pay attention to others, and that is why we greet others by saying, “Sawubona” which directly translated means, “I see you”. )

Basically, I am doing things right presently, or I am doing things to the best of my ability. No more coasting along and churning out ‘acceptable’ results when I am capable of churning out ‘exceptional’ results, no matter how small or unimportant the act may be. So, now I am compelled to do my best. If I do not do my best, I now feel as if I am squandering something precious and priceless. Seriously! Now, if I don’t do my best, I feel as if I have done something wasteful. This feeling is new to me, and it is a great surprise because I didn’t care about myself before, but lately I have just morphed into this person that is self-respecting but only because I feel that I am disrespecting another if I disrespect myself.

Like… What? How can that be? I can do whatever I want to myself, right? It’s my life, isn’t it? Besides, isn’t it the other way around where I disrespect myself if I disrespect another? How can I disrespect another by disrespecting myself? Well, if A=B then B=A, so… that’s how.....

I know! This sounds like utter nonsense, except for the tiny fact that it makes total sense. Also, I feel like I am stating the obvious, so I don’t mean to undermine anyone’s intelligence by mentioning this; but it just took me a long time to get this point, and I assume that someone out there might be as slow as I am.

Anyway, I can’t tell you the day that this realization happened, and when it actually started taking effect in my life but the fact is that it has spread so far that it has now reached this blog too. So, this is why I am going to take better care in these blogs, because it is a sign of respect for the reader to have it be written well. I am not cleaning my act up because of embarrassment or fear of what people would think because I was just never born with that type of pride where other people’s opinions matter in that way. BUT, as soon as I realized that my inefficiency had adverse effects on others– I started to make changes.

Some may read this and choke or have their drinks coming out of their noses because I have definitely done or said things that might be viewed as reaping unfavorable results on others. Well, if people have any vision and foresight, they would see that I venture into uncomfortable subject matters for creating a dialogue that fosters change and evolution; whereas, having a badly written blog , as a conversation piece, is not going to evolve anyone. It serves no positive purpose to have typos. That’s all I am saying.

Yes, I do over-think things as some might say. I have always been accused of thinking a lot, but in my defense, it is not thinking a lot that I do. I merely act with a purpose and when that happens, one can’t help but think before doing anything and everything, even something as little as spell checking my blogs.

So, I will not be posting my blogs immediately after writing them as I did in the past. I will not act in haste! I will do the blog process carefully and efficiently so as to produce something worth reading. Things done in haste usually reap mistakes. So, take your time and do things in due time and so shall I.

Cheerio

Veronnica Wolpendz is so into you!

*with that said, excuse any errors I missed - hahaha*

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