Showing posts from 2009


Now, don’t let this image get your knickers in a knot! It’s not “demonic”… It is just one of the strongest archetypes of my personality.

Pluto was God of the underworld and its riches. The name is the Latinized form of Greek Πλούτων (Ploutōn), another name by which Hades was known in Greek mythology, possibly from the Greek word for wealth, πλοῦτος (ploutos).
“In your horoscope Pluto symbolizes death, rebirth, sex, evolution, degeneration and regeneration, and symbolizes the breakdown of psychological blocks that prevent evolutionary growth. It is the higher octave of Mars, where it represents the conscious self-knowledge and self-mastery of the magician and alchemist standing above brute force and physical prowess; and it is also the fabulous and elusive Phoenix bird. Pluto rules the sign Scorpio in which initially/exoterically it symbolizes mastery of the emotions through the use of the will, and finally/esoterically it represents transcendence through consciousness of the ego-iden…

Thank You and Merry Christmas

Another year is coming to an end, and I don’t know about you, but 2009 was filled with great victories and triumphs, as seeds were planted and nurtured.

If you are tempted to say that there was only defeat in 2009, I would recommend that you look again because there was a lot more happening in 2009 than that which meets the eye. Slow developments are still developments and the slower and more gradual the increase, the more likely the increase is likely to remain steadily with you. Therefore, we have a lot to be grateful for – and although I can’t count all the ways in which I am grateful on this blog, I have been meditating on the wonderful things that I have been given on a daily bases and I recommend you do the same. To be grateful for that which you receive is to receive more of the things you desire!

And if you honestly think that you have failed, remember this:


“Every whisper, of every waking hour, I am choosing my confessions.” – R.E.M. Losing My Religion

Do you usually find that you have said too much, or do you find that you have not said enough? I used to say very little, even though I spoke a lot - a habit I designed to pacify people, a method I see a lot of people use, without knowing that they are doing such a thing. Unfortunately, although this makes me calculative and sly in other people’s eyes, just because I am aware of the things that I do, does it mean that I am guiltier than those who do the same things without knowing? I don’t think so in my opinion, because whether aware, or unaware, the same act is being performed, and therefore the same results are being reaped. I comfort myself by saying that at least I am the master of my actions, whereas the unconscious few are slaves to theirs.

Since then, saying too little turned out to be a bad servant, and so I ventured to strike a balance, by trying to edge myself closer to the oth…

It's a Rant! *passes cigars*

Sometimes I really wonder what happened to me in the manufacturing stages because I think something went terribly wrong. No, nothing went wrong in the manufacturing stages, actually, because I think that as far as design is concerned, I am okay. Like any other machine, I get glitches with wear and tear, but other than that, I am fine. The problem I think occurred during delivery, after the manufacturing went well, and when they were delivering packages marked, “Just Doesn’t Give a Damn” and “Never pays attention”, I and a few people who belong to “Observant and Cares” boxes got mixed up with that other pile and that’s how I, and some unfortunate people on this Earth, ended up in this mall of a place. (Yes, a ‘mall’ is no longer a noun. It is now an adjective to describe something that is grotesque, obscene and insane.) Yeah, so what happened was that, the packages that were meant to be delivered to a museum a University and a sacred place of meditation, ended up being delivered to a …

Brace Yourself. It's Going to be a Bumpy Ride!!

I woke up thinking of certain celebrity’s manager who had promised to listen to my songs and maybe do something about them after the time we had spent together, like work together since he is a producer as well. He had invited me to LA to visit and see the place and I was going to use such a visit as a way to scope the place out to see if I wanted to settle in LA, therefore for me, it was not entirely a social visit because I simply had no money for social visits to other continents - and everyone was clear on that. Hey, if I am broke at the time, I am broke and I don’t see the point in pretending otherwise.

At last minute when I was ready to go that side, he just stopped answering my calls. And, you know what? I didn’t even ask him to do any of it, i.e. invite me or listen to my tracks. These were his ideas, but I guess this is how they lure naïve little girls. He was the one who would call me all the time and speak to me in a way which I admired because it felt as if he was trying …


Dear Friends
As I said, in times previous to this moment, I have been experiencing problems with writing my lyrics. Well, the problem is solved and I am a happier person because of it. It all happened on Saturday, as I was messing about on the guitar, humming the song (because it had no lyrics) when suddenly it came upon me. Yes, the song is still called “Always” but I discovered why I couldn’t write it.

The issue was that I was concentrating on “Always” LOVING a person, which I just couldn’t write about, but instead what I was supposed to be writing about was “Always” WAITING for something, be it a person or thing, waiting being an emotion to which I am better accustomed, an emotion which I am feeling right now. As soon as I came to that place where I knew what the “Always” was referring to, the lyrics came to me like manna from heaven. So, the song is 80% done, with lyrics being 100% completed. I feel much better because this song has been bugging me for the last month, or so now.

You Don't Read My Blog 'Cuz It's Long...

... Oh Well...

Moving on with another long one.

I am sitting outside in the blistering hot sun, because I figured that I should get some much required time in the sun as I suspect that a daily brush with UV rays is not all that bad for me. I think though that it is more of the white light than the UV rays that I like, but whatever it is that is beneficial about the sun, aside from the vitamin D contributing factor, there is something kick-ass great about sunlight, regardless of how much I usually despise it.

The sun feels awful and uncomfortable but I seem to be in better spirits when I have totaled at least 3 hours of sunlight a week. I probably require more but I am not too thrilled about the cons of the sun, so 3 hours a week it shall be.

With this “Night Rider” thing I have going on (not having a talking car, but being up at nights), I am usually indoors during the day, sleeping in the mornings; and then when the sun sets, this is when I venture outside my hole. With that kind of …

'Reason for Not Sleeping

I have found that when I am concentrating, focusing, or calming down, it helps to listen to Rob Dougan’s Clubbed to Death. (If you don’t recall such a song, then you might want to go buy it to hear it, or consequently watch the movie The Matrix. It is the song playing in the scene when Morpheus is showing Neo around the Matrix program.) The song title is deceiving. There is nothing violent about the song. Instead I would say that it was probably so named to signify the silence and peace, the elation of leaving this realm and elevating to something lighter and greater which one obtains at after death and not necessarily the process of being clubbed.

I am tired as I write this, but I can’t sleep. There is too much on my mind and I suppose I haven’t compartmentalized all my thoughts accordingly, and what’s happening now is that they are flying and whooshing all over my mindspace, almost haunting me in their disorganization. Therefore, when that happens, I usually pull out the good ol’ l…

For the Love of Music

Previously I had wanted to post more songs, newer songs to my page because I had plans of having them available on iTunes this year. This was February or March or something like that, in other words, this was a long time ago. Then life happened on me and I was sidetracked into oblivion and now, I am back from the dark abyss of nothingness, and I am ready to rock again.

Fortunately, a few things have been happening to make this stalling of my efforts, somewhat "meant-to-be" because as all distractions were causing havoc to my music life, slowing progress down, my voice was healing more and more from smoking. And then I did a few gigs here and there which were stopped by getting unwell again. So, now that I am better and more armed to avoid bad health, I hope that things can go smoothly again.

First on the list is going back to the studio and finishing this album of mine, this album that is taking me a few years to complete, more than I ever thought it would take. Then, I am …

Just One of 'Em Days...!

There are just days when nothing works out as one planned. I am so annoyed that my hands are shaking. Of course, with that said, it means that this blog that I am writing will also come to no fruition since I am doomed for failure today. Days like these remind me of that Limp Bizkit song, "Break Shit" if I remember the song name correctly; and unfortunately I can’t break anything I own because everything I have is of value and use. So, I will just muse and fantasize about breaking shite.

It all started with waking up at two in the afternoon today. The plan was to wake up in the morning, but instead I woke up near day’s close with a sore body, disorientation and just feelings of not being right. Maybe the start of the day should have been a clue as to how things will unfold today, and from then onwards I should have just given up on doing anything of substance and watched tv instead. I didn’t heed the warning, and thus I endeavored to make something of my short day.

Big mis…

Rage Against My Machine!!!!

I've been chopping and changing this blog for the last 8 hrs and now I am thoroughly exhausted; so much so that I found myself wishing for a drink, and maybe a small cigarette to accompany that. BUT, I can't have those two so... I'll make myself a cup of tea instead, herbal tea of all teas!

Anyway, I am going to post this stupid blog that has nothing to do with anything, as a test to see what happens when I post another blog. I seem to be creating this blog through trial and error, so wish me luck please. Or better yet, wish me strength!


P.S. I kind of hate creating pages. It took me eons to do my MySpace, so why in the world did I think I could manage this? Well, for the same reason that many of you swear to never drink again, only to find a drink in your hand five days later. Time heals all wounds, doesn't it?

There There, It'll all get better....

Another Blog from MySpace
I have an obsessive thing when it comes to music that makes me listen to one song on repeat all day. I can’t stop until I get enough. Usually when I am done listening to a song, I leave it for a long time, even a year at times, and at times I just never listen to it again. I am listening to such a song, but I haven’t had enough of it even if it has been years of knowing and listening to it. This song always comes back, always. It is probably one of my favorite songs. It is haunting and so tragically true. Here are the lyrics: There Thereby Radiohead (geniuses)....
In pitch dark I go walking in your landscape
Broken branches trip me as I speak Just ‘cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there Just ‘cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there....
There's always a siren singing you to shipwreck ....
Stay away from these rocks we'd be a walking disaster ....
Just ‘cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there ....
Just ‘cause you fee…