You Don't Read My Blog 'Cuz It's Long...

... Oh Well...

Moving on with another long one.


I am sitting outside in the blistering hot sun, because I figured that I should get some much required time in the sun as I suspect that a daily brush with UV rays is not all that bad for me. I think though that it is more of the white light than the UV rays that I like, but whatever it is that is beneficial about the sun, aside from the vitamin D contributing factor, there is something kick-ass great about sunlight, regardless of how much I usually despise it.

The sun feels awful and uncomfortable but I seem to be in better spirits when I have totaled at least 3 hours of sunlight a week. I probably require more but I am not too thrilled about the cons of the sun, so 3 hours a week it shall be.

With this “Night Rider” thing I have going on (not having a talking car, but being up at nights), I am usually indoors during the day, sleeping in the mornings; and then when the sun sets, this is when I venture outside my hole. With that kind of routine or habit, sunlight becomes quite a novelty and a rare commodity so I have made it a point to get at least 35 minutes of sunlight a day because I can easily go without; also I enjoy the sun better in smaller doses. Included in my daily/weekly requirements is sitting with and being in communion with a tree, preferably with bare feet in some green grass which I do at least 3 times a week because I am lazy. In truth, I should hang out with a tree daily, but I am working on that. On other days, I merely “spend time” or exchange energy with trees from a distance of about 2-3 meters, which is close enough, methinks. Yes, if you thought I was odd, then you aint seen nothing yet, my lovelies.

Another requirement is beauty appreciation, or beauty immersion, where I soak in the lovely vibratory silkiness of music, or when I do something that expresses my creativity and originality like writing or cooking. Of course, the easiest way of getting my dose of beauty per day is to listen to other people’s music, which I am doing as I type this, namely I am listening to Rob Dougan’s “Clubbed to Death”. As I have said before, I get obsessive about music and I will listen to a song daily for 6 months if need be, just as long as it still makes me feel beauty and appreciation of the wonder that is sound and music. Included in the daily requirements is exercise, which I don’t nearly do as often as I should.

*This song is different than my other favorite songs because it does not have vocals, which means that the song doesn’t coerce the listener to feel a certain way, based on the lyrical and/or vocal content, but it merely and effectively stimulates the imagination according to the individual’s inclination. *

So, yesterday I went to the studio and had a very constructive time making a new track, as is always the case when going to studio, i.e. making tracks. We were briefly interrupted by a power failure, so for an hour or two, we sat and did nothing because there is nothing one can do in recording music without power.

The song I we’re working on is a little different in a sense that I wanted to take a break from playing the guitar and just make it a studio type of production where I am just the writer and vocalist without being the instrument player too, BUT, that seemed a bit far-fetched as I envisioned a guitar solo coming along in the song as we worked on. Mind you, even though there might not be my guitar playing in the final record, I do play guitar all the time during recordings because it is how I communicate musically. This song should be the next one that I post on MySpace. I am exploring a more pop route, with the song being very radio ready in length and in sound type. But, fear not… I didn’t go pop as in Madonna type of pop, but instead I went in the direction that I have been speaking of, i.e. in a more accessible direction, and not niche. With this song, I am more hands on in all aspects of production which should turn out to be a learning experience for me.

Other than that, there is nothing more to report. My fingers are much better from their hectic throbbing which was a result of playing all day yesterday, and also due to playing for studio work prep. Oh, one more thing, I still have lyrics to write which are very… what’s the word?

I am uninspired to write lyrics because I have nothing that I particularly want to write about which is related to my present state of mind. In that case, I am going to go to storage (my foggy mind) and retrieve some files from a time when I wanted to “wait for him forever” or “love him forever” because the song is titled “Always”. Mind you, I couldn’t, in all honesty, feel this way today because I have grown and matured to understand that the idea of forever, relative to consistency, is false. I know that I am probably incapable of loving a person forever, apart from my mother maybe, because there is no one that I know that loves me, or a person that I love unconditionally like the love my mother and I share – as this is the only type of love that is infinitely timeless, but still it is not constant, I think.

Maybe I am a cynic, or maybe I am a little too young to understand the workings of love. Either way, these are my sentiments regarding this subject matter. Real love doesn’t need elaborate declarations of love, as in “I will Always love you” or some other crap like that, because LOVE is totally immersed in the present, in the NOW, where the future tense of “always” is non-existent or unnecessary. In other words, I can tell my mother that I love her, which is true, but I don’t have a desire or a need to tell her that I will always love even though that might also be true.

“Always”, and “forever”, from a human existing in the 3rd dimension, which possesses limited understanding and perspective of time and space, is trying to convince the self, more than state a truth, if they are to sincerely make a statement that denotes what they shall do in another time other than the present. Unless you know the future, and unless your knowledge of the future doesn’t change the future, then any promise made is essentially a lie. With that said, I am totally guilty of this, because I made a promise to you a few days ago, which stated that I will have my music available on iTunes. As I said, it was the only promise I have made for as long as I could remember and I used such a promise as motivation of self more than anything. Of course, one might keep such a promise through constantly choosing to fulfill that promise until it is produced in reality, but for mere mortals, choosing the same thing over and over, or choosing the path that leads to the initial destination, is near impossible; hence the saying, “Life happens while you’re making other plans.”

Now, back to my point:

I can’t honestly say that I will always love someone, but I do understand the emotion because I have felt that before in my younger days. So, I will have to go back in time, and dig up that emotional file, in order to have lyrics for this next song because it can’t be about anything other than that. The song chose its title, “Always”, and then it chose what it meant by “Always” and now I must, MUST give it words to speak.

On that note, I must be off to write some lyrics. Wish me luck. Just think thoughts of encouragement for the commencement stage of writing because once I am into it, it usually just writes itself. The problem is always starting, getting that initial push and inspiration.


Veronnica Wolpendz


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