It's a Rant! *passes cigars*

Sometimes I really wonder what happened to me in the manufacturing stages because I think something went terribly wrong. No, nothing went wrong in the manufacturing stages, actually, because I think that as far as design is concerned, I am okay. Like any other machine, I get glitches with wear and tear, but other than that, I am fine. The problem I think occurred during delivery, after the manufacturing went well, and when they were delivering packages marked, “Just Doesn’t Give a Damn” and “Never pays attention”, I and a few people who belong to “Observant and Cares” boxes got mixed up with that other pile and that’s how I, and some unfortunate people on this Earth, ended up in this mall of a place. (Yes, a ‘mall’ is no longer a noun. It is now an adjective to describe something that is grotesque, obscene and insane.) Yeah, so what happened was that, the packages that were meant to be delivered to a museum a University and a sacred place of meditation, ended up being delivered to a mall instead– a mall frothing to the brim with screaming, spoiled kids (and their parents) who’s only purpose in life is to consume, use and/or destroy anything and everything they see, without any consideration as to the ‘what’s’ and ‘why’s’ of the situation. A mall quaintly named Negligence and Damnation! Yes, did ye not know that we are in hell?

So, now, all our lives, you and I (yes, you because you also think that this planet is off its rocker) we have been trying to adapt and be one with the place, for the sake of our ever decreasing sanity – because we know that there is nothing intrinsically wrong and that nothing is ever a mistake, that the whole delivery fiasco was all part of the process. Yes, all we ever do now is search, study and practice some technique that might make this nightmare more bearable. All we do is remind ourselves that this is some elaborate virtual reality joke, but the people who could benefit from searching, studying and practicing techniques, well they just don’t give a F***.

What in the world am I on about? Am I ranting about feeling this place’s ability of invoking my mental and physical histamines? Yup! And not.

I feel a bit helpless at times, that’s all. And this is not music related, but it is a general talk of human interaction. There are people who are just wonderful on Earth, I must admit, but people who would view me as a total Neanderthal if they were to be in the same room as me because I am so primitive. Then, with that as a reference as to how friggen clueless I am, there are people who I think are total Neanderthals too (so imagine how backward they must be, eh?), and not because they are physical brutes, but because they are emotional and spiritual brutes who just “Don’t give a F***”. Yeah, people just don’t care these days. It scares me, quite frankly. The desensitization of initially highly perceptive humans has increased to an alarming level – or I have become alarmingly flaky and soft. It’s one of the two.

I thought that a person becomes more hardcore as they grow. But now, as I grow, I realize that it is probably the other way around in most cases, that people grow to be more gentle, more tender, more sensitive and kinder due to finally being able to connect to LOVE (unless something went terribly wrong to have people growing worse and worse. I’ve never come across such, but if it has gone wrong, it is most likely temporary because I believe that the final destination is always LOVE. I have not seen people who become worse assholes with time, but I have seen people who go from good(loving) to bad(fearful) but this is just an unstable stage before a person settles to being loving). With that said, I seriously can’t hang out with people my age because the youth is so cruel and mindless. It just so happens that I am one of those younger people who has enough humility and awareness forced upon them that people who have had similar amounts of humbling are people a little older than me, people who have finally given up the fight against Mother Nature and her Natural Laws – people who are now trying the “alternative” to what is the norm.

Note: When I speak of "being humbled" I speak of chastisement, not lack of arrogance.*

Anyway, I have no idea what exactly I am venting about. Actually, that’s not true. I guess, I am a little sick and tired of people who think it is cool to be cruel 9so I am still on last week's thing, although for different reasons); who think it is cool to be horrible to others, people who think it is cool to be afraid. I am not that much more developed than those people, to be honest, but I know now that it is NOT COOL TO BE AFRAID! Fear will make a person miserable and I can’t be miserable by choice anymore. I seriously can’t. I choose to be happy now, and goddammit, I am doing something to get what I deserve. And, I guess, even though I complain a whole lot about horrible people, I am not sitting idly and feeling sorry for myself about it for too long these days. I promise.

Bad things, terrible hurts and pains happen to good people like you and I, all the time. I write about my irritations and hurts only to acknowledge it and express it, so that I do not repress it. (I don't even read these blogs after they have been written.) When I have acknowledged it to myself, it means that I no longer engage it and I no longer spend my energy on it because to resist, suppress or deny it is to use energy on it because pressure is energy applied. Therefore, by facing it I decrease its charge gradually until it is no more, simply by speaking it or expressing it outwardly in a “peaceful” manner (peaceful because I am not shooting or beating people up, but I am just typing - although I am still quite hurtful with words – but I am really working on it. I promise). Anyway, once I am no longer using energy on an issue to suppress it, I can instead use energy to healing the wounds the hurt left behind.

There is sense to my madness. I promise. I don’t just do the things I do because I lack self-control. I do the things I do because I realize Natural Laws control things and I merely act within the construct of her magnificence. So, yes… when I speak, or when I am silent – I am not being dramatic. (okay, maybe a little) Instead I am obeying something bigger than I am, or trying to, at least. Like this blog: I had to express myself. I had a blog owing. So, I killed two birds with one stone and thought, why not share a bit of my journal.

Good Luck! I hope some of this made sense. It was scattered. I haven’t slept. You know the drill, so don’t act surprised.

Have a lovely week ahead, lovelies.

Veronnica Wolpendz, really loves you (and she speaks in 3rd person at the end of her blogs – talk about pretentious!!) lol