Friday, December 27, 2013

I Detoured To Wilkinson County On My Way To Germany.

I like how happy Honey Boo Boo's family is.

Just as I was getting the motivation and inspiration to tackle my German learning mission, the discs that come with the book are taking so long to get imported into iTunes that I regret ever doing it. It has been 44 minutes of waiting for this audio to get into my computer and ready to use. Then there is syncing the whole thing because... Ugh! Fuck it!

So, this somewhat promising early morning has turned from possible productivity to watching "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on the net. I mean, how far can one fall? From prospects of learning, to swimming in the cesspool of reality television. Just great!

Not to mention being hormonal and craving food EVERY. SINGLE. HOUR! I just want to cry.

I'll study tomorrow, or later today I guess... The motivation to learn has not only left, but even if it had not, I am now too tired to think, since it is almost 3am.

During all of this, I keep on thinking how Google and Apple have all my life's details, wondering what they are doing with it, if anything. Yeah, PMS comes with random thoughts and fancies that get you to deep, dark places of the mind, or if you're lucky, PMS and its drama get you nowhere.

What was I saying?

*reads last paragraph*

Oh, and I get scatterbrained, restless, tense and irritable when PMS-ing, so...

Ummm... I got distracted by Honey Boo Boo's mom dancing.

I am going to leave it right here, because even this blog post has no direction other than to demonstrate how I have no direction right now.



Monday, December 16, 2013

Friday, December 6, 2013

Nelson Mandela and The ANC Do Not Owe You Anything!


Nelson Mandela died today, so they say. I don't know why it felt like he was dead on the 4th of December and not the 5th. Although, it felt like he died on the 4th of December 2013, it was confirmed on the 5th of December,  making the 5th quite an emotional day. It's like having a feeling, brushing it off as PMS or just weird vibes, then suddenly getting the confirmation later on that the feeling was true, and things suddenly sinking in.

The news sunk in very dreadfully deep inside my soul, and surprisingly so, because I thought that with all the false alarms that have been going off since 2011, I would have been prepared to feel less than what I feel now, which is a sense of loss like none I have felt before. It is like a dream died, and realization of how that I underestimated how Nelson Mandela being alive comforted me.

Now that he is gone, I feel deeply sad, depressed and afraid, on top of being marvelled and inspired by the changes he and the ANC affected my life in such a profound way. I actually took stock of the fact that had Nelson Mandela not lived, or had Nelson Mandela chose differently, I would not be here today as I am, enjoying the fruits of the ANC and the symbol of light and love that the ANC made him to be. His death has made me realize and be thankful for freedom fighters like him who literally sacrificed their soul's content in order for me to be alive in the manner in which I live.

As I watched the news on BBC, seeing the life and times of his life, sitting on the couch while my boyfriend held me as he saw that I needed comfort, I came to realize that had it not been for the ANC and for Mandela's role in it, I would not have had the privilege of being held by my boyfriend during his death because were it not for Nelson Mandela, I would not have met my Caucasian boyfriend at school because due to apartheid, we would not have gone to school together. I also realized that, were it not for the ANC and Nelson Mandela's role in it, I would not have been in Switzerland on holiday, nor would I have had the chance to fight to be an artist. I realize that instead, I would have been a teacher, which has always been my dream job, but not out of choice, but due to the fact that I would not have been able to dare to dream to be anything else I desired to be. In other words, were it not for the ANC (and other freedom fighters from other parties) especially Nelson Mandela, I would not have had the self-esteem I have today to say that I can be anything I dream to be. I would not have had FREEDOM to dream!

We are all aware that Nelson Mandela was not a saint. He actually had to give up the goals of the first ANC era of taking our freedom back from the oppressor by force, to what surprised many who knew him, which was, to turn the other cheek, forgive the oppressor, and be "One Nation" instead of punishing those who did us wrong. Granted, not many are happy with his decision for peace instead of revenge, because still, my people suffer and the rich from the apartheid era are still in power, when it comes to economic freedom, and the "slaves" are still stuck in their intellectual ignorance from still being deprived of good education and more civilized ways of living, but it is still better than when we were more restricted. Now, South Africa's actually has a big and growing emerging market, and fast growth, but there are still discrepancies; but as they say, Rome wasn't built in a day.

As I sit and think, I am starting to realize that Nelson Mandela's purpose was not to free South Africans from their woes. His purpose, seen through the results he furnished, seem to have been to unite the hearts of man, globally. It seems like his mission was initially to empower his people from the oppressor at first, but somewhere, that changed and became a mission to touch hearts, not people's pockets. His purpose changed from a self-serving one, to one of service to others, not service to himself, and not service to just the South African people. I even think that, even he himself didn't know that his mission to empower black slaves was not his true mission, until later on when it turned out that what he did was to give the inhabitants of the world hope, love, and the sour truth that governments are NOT here to solve our problems, and that we are meant to solve our own problems. Whatever the circumstances behind his change of heart might have been, and as unfair as it seems to most, I think Nelson Mandela did what needed to be done, instead of doing what was desired. He put ego aside, even though doing so allowed the oppressor to still have a stronghold, and showed us that we are all slaves, slaves to our own minds, and that the war is not of color or race, but of class.

If you thought that 1994 meant that things were going to suddenly be fixed through government doing things the way you dreamt, which is through being given things that were taken away from you, I am afraid that you were sadly mistaken. As I always say, learn to govern yourself and don't depend on politicians to do anything other than give you a fighting chance at making your life better by keeping the streets clean and safe, and providing services like providing electricity, water, education, as long as you can afford it. The government can't help you on whether you can afford what they provide. They merely give you a fighting chance to use what they provide when YOU have afforded it to yourself. So, government to me is a huge, glorified handyman who makes sure that your environment is easy to live under, not your benefactor or investor who gives you money to afford his services. As for making money and so on, it is all on us still. We hire the handyman (government) to merely keep our houses in order and pay them (taxes) after the job is done, or even before so that they get supplies to fix our houses.

I am not sure if I am making sense. Government, to me, creates opportunities, not by giving money away, but by giving people the chance to fight and be better. The government therefore owes me nothing because they opened doors, they didn't do more than that, and they shouldn't have to do more than that, lest we become complacent, lazy and develop a victim complex which breeds people who want to be saved instead of saving themselves.

I, for one, am one of those people to which the ANC and Nelson Mandela gave a fighting chance. I have never had a bursary, grant, or any money given to me for free from the government, but what the government did for me was give me a chance to get what I desire by giving me a fighting chance to get the things that money buys, like education, food, shelter, clothes and so on, by making an environment for me where I can go and hustle, work and pay for things that I need. Were it not for our government, I would not have been able to even try and hustle, and work, to pay for things that I need. Were it not for our government, I would have lived and died in the place of my birth because I would not have been allowed to go elsewhere... Do you understand what I am saying?

So, Nelson Mandela was not the Savior we thought he was, to me at least, he is not the Savior that most people think he should have been. To me, he did just what is needed (and what seems unwanted or insufficient) which is challenge us to do what we desired without people limiting us. He gave us a chance to spread our wings a bit by globalizing South Africa, and showing his people that there is more to life than being a slave. That to me is a huge service, because what he did was open people's minds. He showed us how the other side of town is living, and made us ask ourselves why we aren't living the way they do. He showed us that we are just as strong, smart and as capable just as any other race, so why aren't we acting like it. That is how he empowered us.

The ANC, and Nelson Mandela gave us the gift of dreaming, of being ambitious, and of asking, "If YOU can do it, why can't I?". I don't call that selling out. I call that doing a service more than taking people's land by force and creating more drama and karma. He showed us that "Two can play that game!". He taught us that true oppression is not physical enslavement, but mental enslavement. Although some of us are in positions that are physically trying, our minds are open enough to get ourselves out of troubles of the flesh. This was not the case in the apartheid era. If you think Nelson Mandela owes you more than what he gave, then you are a self-entitled, ungrateful twat who will probably not get anywhere in life because you expect things to be handed to you instead of working for them.

Did the 1% of the world get their power handed to them? No! They worked for it. Did they do it ethically? Probably not, but guess what, Nelson Mandela and the ANC has given you the same freedoms now. You can lie and cheat, brown-nose and stab people's back to be rich now. Before the ANC and Nelson Mandela, you didn't even have the choice of being corrupt, even if you wanted to. Did the 1% fight to remain the 1% and live large? Every single day, through blood, sweat, tears, and yes, through the exploitation of our people, but unlike us, they didn't have the restrictions to how they got their security on Earth. Did the 1% think that anything can stop their cause? No! They believed in themselves, as misguided and sometimes evil as it might have been. And now, they have generational wealth, ensuring that their seeds will never die from hunger.

Now, I am not saying that we must do as they did, and start enslaving people. Nelson Mandela was saying that through reconciliation, and appealing to the loftier side of our nature, and appealing to our highest selves, we can also believe so much in ourselves that we get what we desire. The ANC opened the door and said, "Now, go and do as you have always wished. Believe in yourself as much as the oppressors believed in themselves. Hustle and get that paper!" They didn't necessarily say, be as the oppressor and be douchebags, but be as confident as the oppressor to get your desires fulfilled. Have the confidence of not failing and have the belief in your resources and skills just as the oppressor did on us. Use their confidence, strength of will and audacity to conquer the world. As to how you use that arsenal of virtues, it is up to each of us.

People are acting as if the ANC owes them. The ANC owes nobody anything, just as you don't owe anyone anything, unless you borrowed from them. Out of the goodness of their hearts, they decided to actually do something about apartheid. Out of the goodness of their hearts, a few good people got together and said, "Let's be of service and help." They didn't have to do so. They could have just lived as slaves, or freed themselves through their connections and lived overseas and leave your asses in apartheidville, but they didn't. They decided to change YOUR world for the better, and you still bitch and moan about selling you out? Who the fuck are you?

These people have and had their own lives. Get yourself empowered so that you can have your own life and stop complaining about governments doing you wrong. Get yourself together and govern yourself. No one owes you SHEEET!! You best believe me. Not even the government owes you anything. Instead, they make YOU feel like you owe them something, and you know why? Because they believe they can. So, as you can see, a lot can be done if you believe you can, and the ANC and Mandela gave you the opportunity to have that audacity too, to believe that you can.

These are my thoughts right now...

Good Night.