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Showing posts from February, 2015

A Slump.

Dearest Reader, I am now engaged, soon to be married and I no longer live in South Africa. I am now living in Switzerland with my fiancé. On paper, life is good, better than it's ever been. The question that gnaws at me constantly though, is why I feel like I am dying inside? I have not picked up my guitar in almost 5 months. In these 5 months, I have kicked my addiction to benzos, but at the same time, I have been sleeping at night like normal people. Could this novel sense of normalcy be killing my soul? Is my brain adjusting to having no narcotics, thus taking the spark out of my life? Being up in the early morning today, like old times, has made me feel alive again. I have not been up at this time by choice, for a very long time. I had missed this. I wonder if I have lost this. If it wasn't for the Grammy's, I'd be sleeping... So, so, much has changed. I have gained weight, which is the side effect, although temporary, of quitting drugs because I am eating mo