For the Love of Music

Previously I had wanted to post more songs, newer songs to my page because I had plans of having them available on iTunes this year. This was February or March or something like that, in other words, this was a long time ago. Then life happened on me and I was sidetracked into oblivion and now, I am back from the dark abyss of nothingness, and I am ready to rock again.

Fortunately, a few things have been happening to make this stalling of my efforts, somewhat "meant-to-be" because as all distractions were causing havoc to my music life, slowing progress down, my voice was healing more and more from smoking. And then I did a few gigs here and there which were stopped by getting unwell again. So, now that I am better and more armed to avoid bad health, I hope that things can go smoothly again.

First on the list is going back to the studio and finishing this album of mine, this album that is taking me a few years to complete, more than I ever thought it would take. Then, I am going to do the usual, i.e.

1. Master tracks
2. License the tracks and then, share them with you by,
3. Posting them on MySpace and
4. Getting the tracks on all online music stores (as many stores as I can manage)

Then, from then onward, I will have a bit of direction because then I can start the second phase of my career, and that is the marketing of the product (album). You see, to start with promotion when the product is incomplete is fine, but not ideal as it disperses instead of focusing energy on a particular stage of development. Having ones energies unfocused is counter-productive and I choose not to work this way.

This album will in essence be a glorified demo, meant to showcase what I am capable of, which, I hope, is something unique and different to what the market has in offer, something unique yet accessible to a broad market. All of this, the designing of music that is "unique yet accessible to a broad market" (not a niche type of music) is what I am working on now... CREATING MUSIC.

Of course, this means that I have my work cut out for me, but I never venture into something that I am not confident in executing proficiently. Also, I am prepared, or at least I am getting prepared, going back to playing a minimum of two hrs a day, practicing my guitar playing and also strengthening my voice, the maximum hpurs of me being at it being around 6 to 7 hours. That is amazingly almost the same amount of hours as 9 to 5ers spend at work, which I find weird but comforting. Of course, this intense schedule doesn't last forever, but this is usually how it gets before studio work and before a performance (as preparation). In those hours I also write lyrics and think up new songs, on top of developing unfinished songs.

I force myself to eat during that time and if I do remember to eat, I am usually eating and writing at the same time. When the musical bit is done, I try to write an essay of sorts which might serve as a blog. Most of these essays are left in my computer as I find most of them below satisfactory to share with everyone, mainly because the subject matter is unrelated to my music. The funny thing is that, the blog entries that I choose to share aren't that hot either but I share them anyway because I feel I have to. So... yeah... so much for my search for perfection because I can never reach it.

Anyway...

It's now 8:34pm, in Johannesburg South Africa and my finger tips are little sore and I am tired and hungry. I've been putting in some time, making up for lost time, and finishing up some songs for my studio session(s) next week. Instead of relaxing now, I am writing this blog because I just feel that I am not doing enough... I always feel that I am not doing enough, and on days like these, I usually have to force myself to STOP and just allow myself to shut down.

I guess, it is because of fear creeping in. It is not easy listening to music on the radio, watching a music video on tv, without thinking that my songs and my music videos should be there too. So, this gets me to a point where I am in a frenzy or a depression, like today. I guess this week I have been insecure, or feeling left behind a bit, but I lie. I feel like this at least once everyday. It's quite remarkable how I am being honest today too, but this is typical of me when I am tired, as I usually have no strength for pretense. Yes, I am a little nervous that I am not putting enough effort to achieve what I desire. So, I am getting back on the wagon and working hard again.

I felt guilty resting and letting myself heal, but I figured that if I didn't rest and heal that I would have prolonged my ill health. So, the rest was an investment in my future productivity. Still, I feel bad about the whole thing. What's done is done, though, and so it is back to where I left off, making the best of what I have today and forgetting about what's lost.

Therefore, soon, I am delivering the songs I promised.

Also, YOU WILL be able to buy them on iTunes and other online stores.

That's a promise, and I never make promises, so you can be comforted that I will do my best to produce what I promised, in order to be free of the obligation in which I have gripped myself.

Okay, Okay, Good bye already... I can go on and on, can't I? :-)

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend.

I have a lot of love for the wonderful people that read my blog, listen to my music; those who support me silently or not. All of you are so appreciated. You guys make me get up when I have no will to do so, and for that I am very grateful.

Peace!
Veronnica Wolpendz Loves You!!!

xxoxoxox