*I wrote this about 40 days and 40 nights ago. I wasn't going to post it, but since I am not inspired to write anything these days, and since I can pretty much do whatever I want... Here goes. Enjoy!*

I'll edit tomorrow. I promise. :)
I haven't slept and I am out of it right now... (excuses, excuses)


My mind is like helium, and although that makes sense to me, I wonder if it makes sense to you. I mean that it is moving like its particles… Wait! Let me google that and double check if Helium particles do in fact move fast… Yes they do…
Moving on...
I can’t make and finish a sentence right now.  I am feeling like I am touching something magnificent and energizing, rejuvenating and sublime. Last night I had the most awesome sleep ever. I slept at my normal hours, in the early mornings, but I didn’t take my calming herbs to relax me before I slept. Instead I just closed my eyes, and slept. I am not even certain whether I was thinking of something in those minutes or hours before I slept but I didn’t pass out like I was drugged either. The sleep came to me in peace, and I wasn’t pleading for its company but merely expecting it, welcoming it, and embracing it. It was all so effortless and peaceful, gentle and unassuming. I merely knew that I was going to sleep perfectly merely because I knew so. 

When I woke up this morning, I felt grateful. I was just filled with a feeling of complete and utter gratitude for that which I had received. Then, as I basked in that glorious feeling, I realized that gratitude wanted more of itself – that the more grateful I became, the more honor I felt as gratitude held me tightly (without strangling me). With honor comes duty, and that is when I realized that gratitude is an exponentially multiplying feeling and that to experience it is to commit yourself to creating situations that cause you to experience it.
It was like I struck gold when that little bit of info came through to me from the Infinite Intelligence. I say it came through to me from somewhere else because I am not nearly that brilliant to figure out such things, and so it must come from somewhere else. I am not talking down to myself by saying that I am not brilliant because although I know that this information didn’t really come from me, I know that I do have the skill to access this Infinite Intelligence – but that aint special either because you can too. I know this because it is where all the songs come from, it is where I learned how to play the guitar, and where I learned to speak English, things “I” taught myself in 6 months. (yeah,” from where the thoughts come”, but I have just kinda had it with being grammatically correct for a minute, okay? Too much thinking…)
Anyway, so this is what I learned, not in theory, and not even in practice, but in knowing, and it is this:
Gratitude is intelligence in its own right.
It expands, not linearly (if that’s how to explain it verbally, meaning not like this: 12 =1, 22=4, 32=9, 42=16, etc. Instead it increases multi-dimensionally, like this: 22 = 42=162=2562=655362 etc.  Don’t ask me how I got to this, but I totally believe it to be true and I believe the term is exponential increase. And then, when the value reaches a critical number or value (whose value I don’t yet know but I guess it to be less than 33%) the vibration changes from feelings of gratitude to things to be grateful for.  The reason I showed the Math of it all is so that it is clearly demonstrated just exactly how fast it spreads. (I don’t know Math, or at least I think I don’t, so if any of you guys know the correct terms for what I am trying to demonstrate, please correct me.) Of course, the same goes for feelings of ingratitude, they also spread like fire to give you exactly the things that you aren’t happy to have.
So, a week or so before today, I made it a point to just get rid of the last bit of “pity party” material so that I can embark on this journey – The Journey of First Cause, The Journey of God, the Journey of Natural Laws, and what I will call “The Journey of Gratitude.” I have been walking a Journey of Clear Vision before this, where I was visualizing every little detail of exactly what I desire, from my body, to my mind and my soul – from my career to my personal life and my general health and well being. I wasn’t too grateful for having it, nor was I ungrateful, but I was negligent and not paying attention to anything except for what I desired. This neglected the “being grateful bit” as things came in my life and left my life, with not so much as a blink because I merely didn’t notice. I knew that my vision is mine, and mine to have and enjoy but there was still something missing.
What was missing was gratitude; and now we shall endeavor to pay attention to all that is inclined towards our desires and be grateful for it. That which isn’t inclined towards our vision shall be ignored. It will not be fought against, it shall not be harassed and it shall not be part of our beings. It shall merely be ignored.
With all said and done, I know that it is not that easy to be grateful and to live in bliss of ignoring the challenging bits of life, when everything is falling apart around you. Even if it is not falling apart, things might be a little tricky and life might be filled with distractions and demands that take your thoughts away from being grateful for the things you receive, while banishing the things that don’t.  So, we are going to be practical about this and do things right.
Firstly, we are going to change our habits and get this gratitude thing to be second nature. How? Well, it takes about 40 days to break a habit, so in the next 40 days (I have already started) I am going to be concentrating on using my WILL on myself, and not on others, as a way to discipline myself. How do I know this? Well, let’s just say that I have quit many an addictive thing in my life, and I used this method.
I don’t know how well this works for others, but a few years ago, I think in 2004 (I can’t remember) I quit eating meat. It wasn’t that I couldn’t stop eating meat, because meat tastes like shit and always has, but it was the integration of a new lifestyle around people who were not really supportive at first, that made my life difficult. During this time, it was not about not eating meat, but it was about preparing good healthy meals that didn’t include meat, that was the challenge, and it took me about 40 days and 40 nights to get that into my system, to learn to make the effort of finding good produce, and great recipes, especially because I am bordering on being a vegan since I hate cheese, eggs and now milk is starting to make me queasy. I then quit eating meat by being grateful that I don’t eat it anymore.
Next was quitting any sort of narcotic, except for medicine when prescribed by a doctor when necessary. I do not drink (except for that bad fall off the wagon in June this year) but I can if I want, but I choose not to. I do not smoke, and I take painkillers here and there and anti-histamines because I am allergic to Earth; and of course the many homeopathic herbs in pill form that I take plus vitamins. It makes me laugh when people who drink, smoke, eat badly and do not live healthily – judge me when I take my many “pills” a day which are 2 pills of Omega 6 and 3, 2 calcium magnesium, 1 iron supplement, 1 antihistamine, 2 energy pill for that morning kick start = 8 pills. Then there is 4 at night of including the homeopathic stuff that make me sleep better. Its like, “Are you fucking kidding me?  Are you really comparing your fags, your bottle and god knows what to my greens, vitamins and herbs?”
Anyway… I got off the Gratitude Wagon there… Woops! Let’s get back on track.
I then quit taking in things that damage my body because I was grateful for not taking them in my body anymore. Each day that I didn’t smoke, I thanked the Lord God Almighty and the Universe for the strength to overcome habits which I deemed bad (things I call “bad” might be good for others, so…) I then celebrated the victory of the strength of my will. That’s what I mean. Celebrate each little thing, and big things will come for you to celebrate. My life is the perfect example of this, merely because I have overcome many of my demons.
If you are going to join me on The Journey of Gratitude, you will need to cut the chit-chat down. I am not saying that you must stop the interaction with others completely, but you will see why you need as much time to yourself as possible. You’re going to need to be a little crazy as well because you are going to think outside the reality box.
You will also need a “Vision Board”, but because I am anti-paper, a nice slide of great JPEGs will do, so go on google, get images of the things you desire the most and stop denying them by starting to look at them everyday for a good few minutes if your mind is on some Jesus level, but if you are a mere mortal like me, you will need more time to meditate on your desires than just a few minutes. Hence, keep the chit-chat to a minimum because your energies are going to be spent thinking, living and breathing your vision for a month or so.
And the hardest step of all is to be grateful for the things which you have not yet been aware of receiving.
It is possible, to be grateful for the things that you have “not” yet received, only if you allow yourself to see that time is not linear. It is simultaneous, and what you are seeing is what’s happening NOW, but just not in your current perspective of time, in other words… not yet, but right NOW. Makes sense?
After 40 days and 40 nights, you will be more prepared to go after what you want because you would have rewired yourself to get what you want. I can’t even stress this enough that by using these little things, I have come up with magical experiences and unbelievable results. Of course, I know that my vision is much more than what I have received, but that which has come thus far is certainly part of my vision with each little step taking me closer to exactly where I desire to be. I can’t turn water into wine like Jesus did. The only difference though is that it just takes me a bit longer than he did, for now. With enough practice, who knows? I have only been practicing to turn my waters into wine for 3 years or so. Jesus disappeared from the world for decades before he came back a Master. Be patient and kind to yourself because even the son of man didn’t become the best that he could be over night!  Or maybe he did, and so can you.
Good Luck with this journey. Let's be grateful for all the good that is in our lives, even in the midst of the darkness.

*It was the most awesome 40 days and 40 nights. I consciously chose to be grateful and to dwell on the good, and it made me seem a little weird to some.  Then soon after that, there was a dip in vibes and I got angry and discouraged, but all is well again. The point is to get back on the wagon when you fall.*


Angela said…
I understand this! ♥

Funny: I went to the bookstore hoping to find a book called Make Miracles in Forty Days. I read it two years ago - it involves writing gratitude lists for both the good AND the bad - just writing ten things either once or twice per day.

I think our ascendants are close to each other, so we've both dealt with Saturn going through the 12th. I'm hoping that things will improve - that I will improve. I've figured a few things out that seem to help with my stomahc issues. I was hardly getting any nutrition, for over three years now, but when it works, I feel *so much* better. The downside is that stress can make it worse, and I've had a lot of that.

(And thank you for the early birthday wish. ♥ Sort of early, anyhow. I still haven't thanked anyone , because I was feeling so weird. I don't like to seem ungrateful when I'm not.)
Hey there Angela,

I have nothing but love for you and it does get better, so keep being grateful and work on keeping your spirits high.

Yes, our asc are close to one another and I also have tummy issues (gastric) and stress does elevate it, but I am getting better.


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