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Friday, May 10, 2013

The Adjustment Bureau Has Me.

Dearest Reader,

Time is an illusion. I think we are all clear on this. If we are not all clear on this, then we still need to contemplate existence a bit more, through meditation, and we need to read a bit more, until we understand this reality. Time does NOT exist. What exists is information and HOW we view it. Therefore, what is commonly termed as the past, if observed objectively, is made of the same stuff that a fantasy is made of. The difference between the illusion called "a fantasy" and that called "reality" is that the past is believed to have happened, and that the other is BELIEVED to have not happened. Intrinsically, memories and fantasies are the same "substance", and they are made different by how we define and view them. Because the image in our head is BELIEVED to have happened, we call it a memory. The image, in our head, that we BELIEVE has not happened, we call a fantasy.

I know I am most likely undermining your intelligence by outlining this because this is a very simple concept, but I also realise that not everyone understands what I understand, and so I am explaining things in a rather rudimentary style in order to suit everyone. You see, there is no use in speaking with bombast and not being understood. Speaking without being understood is a waste of time, therefore, simplifying one's language is often useful.

Now, let us return to the discussion about time.

Time is a non-existent thing which we humans have come to make real because we simply didn't have the language or the means of defining the phenomenon of experiencing our reality, a reality which is limited and seemingly linear. Our reality is limited because it does not allow us TO BE AWARE of other realities. Oh, we do experience other realities, but we are simply unaware that we are. That is the mystery of this level of existence. Unaware, we move from timeline to timeline, and return to previous timelines, and bounce around creation, probably as often as every nano-second, but we just don't know it.

What we know is that we have these images in our heads that are supposedly things we did IN THE PAST. These things, sometimes include other people and include activities we shared with others. These memories give us the feeling of context, and make sense of the present for us, and memories are probably programmed in us to affect the only real thing, which is the present moment. But, imagine that you merely downloaded a file of memories, and didn't actually experience them, but the file of images, or the movie file you downloaded is so realistic that YOU THINK you did it?

The point is: Who is to say that anything ever happened? No one but the mind. Think about it. If it is a shared experience, and your answer is that the memory is real because other people were there, what if it is a collective movie file, starring a whole lot of people? The point I am trying to make is that, what is real is real because we make it so.

Now, look at your life and think of all the turning points in your life. What are the chances of the fact that your experiences actually occurred? The probability is probably very low. For example, to be in love today, do you think it would have been possible if you had chosen differently the events of your memories (your past)? I think now, about my current significant other, and the chances of us connecting were so slim that for it to have occurred seems to have been almost orchestrated by some highly evolved intelligence, and the orchestration must have begun weaving its tune from the time I was born because there were a lot of things that had to be put in place, and there were a lot of things that had to be removed out of place in order to allow us to connect. It is so unlikely that we are together that I am amazed.

We met each other as kids, at primary school. The school in which we met was not my school of choice. In fact, registration was over and the school was full. I had wanted to go to other schools, and each time, I was turned away. I went to that primary school thinking that I would probably not go to school that year, when the principal said he liked me and would allow me to study there, regardless of being filled to capacity. I didn't want to attend that school, and if I didn't, I would not have known my significant other.

To have moved in the a new school, I had to have had a reason to move schools. The reason to move schools was not directly due to me. It was a family thing. We moved, and the circumstances behind moving were also quite specialized and out of my hands. I was a kid after all, so this whole play included my parents too, because had it not been for them, I would have gone to school somewhere different.

Being turned away by lesser schools and being accepted into a better school also made no sense to me, even at the time, but good schools had less pupils so entry was easier and harder for other reasons, but in my case, it was too easy to get admission to that school.

That's just one example of many ways in which my connection with my significant other seems quite fated, as if I had no real free will in the matter, as if it was predetermined from before I met him that we should come together, as if all the other seemingly tumultuous experiences of my life were just a side effect of some predetermined event being made manifest.

Then, I think about the other people in my life that were abruptly removed to make manifest my current life, and most of the people, circumstances and places that were removed from my reality seem to have been for the purposes of connecting with my significant other. I would love to go into detail with many of my observations but the events are too personal to share. Trust me, though, I feel as if I was thrust into my man's arms. I am not complaining. I am glad. It feels as though it was planned. That is all.

I even wrote a list called "My Man" in 2007 or 2008, and it described him to a T. I am talking about eye colour, height, career, level of career, age, hair colour, and even to the languages he spoke. I often can not explain this to people because it seems unreal. I am detail orientated, so I dared "fate" and I wrote my list with specifics, and this boy I knew from school just happened to grow into what I named on the list. What are the chances?

When I meditate, and when I listen to my inner world, I hear and feel echoes of lives I haven't technically lived, or lives I can't remember vividly. I laugh at jokes that have not been told to me in this life, and I have reservations about people and places that I have no reason to be wary of. It's as if all realities and timelines (lifetimes) are speaking at once with only this one speaking the loudest, allowing me to understand what it is saying. Whereas, the other timelines are murmuring and whispering, and although I can hear them, I can not understand what they are saying. In these non-audible timelines, I hear people from THIS timeline speaking to me, but when I look at them in this reality and ask "What did you say?", they look at me with confusion in their eyes, their mouths closed, with an expression on their face saying, "I didn't say anything. Why are you looking at me as if I said something to you?"

This is when I say to myself, "They spoke to me in another time, not this time..." and shake my head apologetically and say to them, "Sorry. My mistake." and carry on walking. I spoke with them in another time, another place, another reality, not this one, but the truth is that I spoke to them NOW because time does not exist. Which makes me wonder who I am speaking to (from or to another time) without being aware of it, just as people speak to me (from another time) without being aware of it.

The convergence of timelines will be the ultimate destroyer of our perception of time. When we begin to realize that "to think of something is to be something", just in another timeline, and when we can not only conceptualize this but actually feel it, we will learn and feel time disintegrate right before our eyes. Unfortunately, we don't develop at the same time, nor do we develop at the same rate, and so, there is still going to be a long time of asking "What did you say?" and being looked at like a weirdo because the person believes that they didn't say anything, but by 2038, I believe it will be better.

Why did I mention my significant other?

Well, it seems like an entity, whether it was our higher selves, or God or whatever intelligence, who could view all times, was planning events to work out as they have presently. This entity has a plan and made the plan happen. Being the thinker that I am, I can't help wonder what was so important about my significant other and I connecting, that was so hectic as to move people across continents, abruptly move people from school to school, arrange that we are in the same classes, arrange that we both change to the people we are today through great trials, just so that we can be together. What is the big deal? It feels like a huge conspiracy, as if the puppet master said, "These two need to be together in order to spawn a special child." or "These two need to be together to save the world from her becoming an evil dictator." or "These two need to be together at whatever cost in order to usher in a new era of..." I can't speculate upon the purpose of our coming together, but it is certainly a result of highly probable outcomes being abruptly and unlikely erased from happening, and a result of highly unlikely events happening so that we connect.

It is like a big, fat science-fiction film.

The unlikely feelings of familiarity, and the unlikely instant trust are all just out of the ordinary. It's like we were both planted with feelings of trust for each other because there is no reason why we should trust one another, but we do. There is no reason why we should even like one another, and yet we do. Of course, there are pheromones... but that's another blog post altogether.

When something makes me ask, "What are the chances of this happening?" I can't help but look up in awe and ask questions, especially when there was every reason why it shouldn't have happened. Then there are opposite things in my life that have every reason of happening and yet they do not. It makes a person feel like the Adjustment Bureau is involved in my life. It makes me feel as if The Matrix has me, as if people from the future are messing with the outcome of my life and that I probably have less free will than I thought.

I am not complaining about the good stuff, though. :)

Anyway,

Happy New Moon Solar Eclipse (In Taurus)
V

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