I am listening to some beautiful music as I begin to write this, having just ravaged a vegan hotdog, and now I am sitting cross-legged in front of my PC, wondering whether I am psychic or whether I have one of the most powerful minds known to man, to make manifest all that I think of. It’s one or the other. For some reason, even though at the time I am usually just saying something from a faint feeling inside, the things I feel come to pass. This is why I have decided to share them with people so that I am not left alone saying, “I knew that!” but having no one with which to corroborate that I did truly know.
We were in my bedroom, just chillin’ but not like villains. Chillin’ like innocent angels. He was lying on my bed, busy with his phone, and I was watching him closely, from his jeans to his hair, analysing him, and constantly reminding myself that this is real. Yes, he was here with me in the same space/time continuum and we were sharing a moment. I was in raptures of happiness and not hiding it. My manner of approach became gentle, and I was blushing every time I reminded myself that he was in my bedroom. I was happy. I was really happy, a feeling of satisfaction, content and excitement which I had not felt before. See, I had never liked someone deeply who liked me back, even if it was for only a few hours. I was savouring every bit of it, enjoying my nervousness, enjoying how I suddenly became a little girl around him, and enjoying how I felt extreme pleasure just by looking at him.
I had been stalling our meeting, but I couldn’t resist it when he said he was coming over. I wish I had resisted because maybe it wouldn’t have gone so horribly wrong somewhere along the process. I became overwhelming and overwhelming, but prayed that he would have patience for it until my excitement wore off. Sadly, I didn’t get a chance for my excitement to wear off. Instead, I was taken from Nirvana and hurled into the deep recesses of the underworld. I am in disbelief that the script can flip so drastically, and then I remember that I knew it, and I did tell him that “meeting people for the first time during Mercury Retrograde is a bad idea. People end up being enemies.”
My words came to pass. I don’t know if we are enemies, but I am certain that we don’t think much of each other right now, and I have accepted this. I don’t like this, but I have embraced it. I don’t desire to dislike people, but sometimes it is unavoidable and the fact that I am still writing about him does mean that I still think of him with mourning and even sorrow, but I am fine with that too. Anger and dislike took the place where adoration once resided. Similarly, it is a matter of time until the mourning and the sorrow ends and I am left with a vacant space to be filled with better things than him.
I keep on saying, “I knew it! I even told him too. You don’t meet people who matter during Mercury Retrograde because you will “lose” them.”
In the scientific community, if an experiment to test a certain phenomenon happens once, it is not considered proof because it could be a coincidence. So, to consider something plausible at best, one has to experiment one more time. I would not be writing about the “Curse Of Mercury Retrograde” if it only happened once. For me to even tell him this was based on a pattern that I had seen occur in my life. It is always a communication breakdown caused by lack of communication somehow. And, it always ends ugly, with me swearing a whole lot and with me calling people idiots and fuckwads!
But, I am not of the school that blames stars on things that we humans choose to make come to pass. Yes, I believe that all curses can be broken and that we merely need to be alert and deliberate in our actions when fighting things that seem predetermined. Telling him was so we would be careful about how we communicated in the future, and I was going to suggest that we be fully transparent and honest with one another when feeling happy, slighted, overwhelmed or ignored by the other – but I never did get to that talk. So, I couldn’t pre-emptively deal with the curse when it came to him, and so we got beaten by Mercury Retrograde.
See, a First Meeting Chart with Mercury Retrograde means that the union will be filled with misunderstandings, between the pair and between the pair and the world. This means that, to fight a Mercury Retrograde first meeting, people have to be more open than usual. In this case, I did my part and I was open with all that went through my mind, even when the thoughts were just passing thoughts. This, in turn caused the very thing that I was avoiding. SMH! :) The irony!
After he hugged me good bye, I walked him to the door and bid him farewell. After I opened and closed the gate, I walked upstairs, walking slowly, with a weak smile on my face, feeling highly strange and unlike myself. I can't describe the feeling because I've only felt it once in my life. It felt like I was floating, as if my mind was somewhere else, but when I looked to see where it was, it was nowhere but right there with me. Oooh, is this what they mean when they say, "time stopped"? Whatever. Then, suddenly, I was greeted by the flight of stairs which lead to my bedroom which snapped me out of whatever I was thinking about. I ran up the stairs and went into my bedroom, closed the door behind me and just stood there with a distant and vacant look. Again, I snapped out of it and smiled. Then, I threw myself on my bed, did a girly high pitched scream, and giggled, and kicked my legs back and forth, like a child. Then, I spoke to myself and said, “I’m so happy,” and carried on giggling while looking at the ceiling. Then, I climbed into bed, and with my keen sense of smell, I could smell his cologne or his man smell on my pillow, whatever it was, it was him. I inhaled deeply and laughed again, clearly overflowing with Universal love. I think I texted him and told him that I could smell him on my pillow. Loser move, but for some reason, I couldn't pretend to be cool with this man.
That was then. Today, I feel quite differently. I care less and I find him just short of a hair breath from being repugnant. Although I can not blame Mercury Retrograde for how things just didn’t go anywhere with him, I can certainly say that Mercury Retrograde had 10% involvement in how things didn’t even begin to have a proper ending. I saw him again after this day, but the truth is that, after that day, every thing went downhill. So much so that I am not even sure what I am mourning for because nothing happened. It is as if it was all a dream and this story is just a figment of my imagination. It is like we never met. We will never meet on purpose, that's for sure. Maybe I dreamt it all. Mercury Retrograde meetings leave a person with a bitter taste in their mouths and not knowing where it came from. It leaves you with a frown on your face, and it leaves you just saying, “No, fucking thanks!”
Is Mercury Retrograde a fable? Is it an urban legend and a silly suspicion? I don’t know, but you can certainly find out for yourself.
Love, Peace and Power.