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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Sail Away

Dearest Reader,

Whenever I experience disappointment, I might cry, but what I will definitely do is write a song. There is a song that I have not recorded yet, and it is called "Sail Away", and it was written when my ex and I broke up. There was a point when I desired to fix things with him. This was when I was still angry, when I was still frothing at the mouth, anger being a sign saying, " I am hurting. Make things right so that I can feel better." but after a while, the anger subsides, and what is left in its place is just an empty shell, filled with the hollow sounds of the illusion of an ocean, as one would make by putting a conch at the ears. When my anger subsides, and I feel nothing anymore, this is when my heart get closed. This was when he came back, knocking at my door, and me saying, "Sail Away".

The imagery of the ocean is because I was born at the coast, and when this drama was happening, I was at the coast, at the safety of my mother's embrace, crying from my biggest betrayal to date. The song was my way of closing that chapter of being hurt and saying, "Look, my friend. I am no longer on that level where you and I can be together." Here are some of the lyrics:

Sail Away

There's no one home,
'Place is empty
Laughter gone.

'Couldn't survive the storm,
Place is vacant
Joy is gone.

There's no one home,
'Place abandoned
Smiles are gone.

Damaged beyond repair
'Place is hollow
Heart is gone.

Oh, when you see the shore
Sail away. Sail away.
Oh, when you see the coast
Sail away. Sail away.


LOL! I am the laziest lyrics writer. I write lyrics as a mind bookmark to have something to associate with the song when I am trying to remember it because I don't actually write music down on paper. I compose it in my mind and keep it there until it is useful.

The lyrics came from the image of a beach house that was once thriving and homely, full of life, which after the entire ordeal of dealing with the heartbreak, became a deserted, hovel with broken floor boards and damage that is "beyong repair". The song is a plea, which stems from a place that is weary and heavy, which says, "Please, just leave me be because I have nothing more to give to you. Not for lack of trying, but I don't have any more love to give. You are now tainted."

I never did share this song with the person who inspired it because I felt that it would hurt him than please him because it was not a happy song. Besides, I have not recorded it yet. Maybe after recording it, I will share it with him. 

Whenever I feel deep emotion, whatever it may be, I write a song about it. I used to be quite dark and brooding. And this year I think I  wrote a happy song, or a song not from a place of pain, which pleased me. I will use that song when I am happy, just as I shall play this song, Sail Away, when I am disappointed. My music is written for me before anyone else. I use my guitar and my voice as therapy. It helps me cry when tears don't come out, and it helps me express negative emotions which I would otherwise repress.

This is why I will always be a musician. It is part of my being. I can't escape it. And, I am fine with that.

Thank You,

Veronnica Wolpendz

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