The Highly Sensitive Person

HSPs prefer solitude than crowds mostly

Dearest Reader,

Know Thyself. I repeat... Know Thyself. If you are ignorant of the self, the good and the bad, you shall complicate your life unnecessarily. Therefore, reflect! The more you reflect, the easier life becomes.

Due to introspection, questioning and investigation into WHO I AM, and into what makes me tick, I discovered some years ago that I was an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and this is part of why I am a loner weirdo with too much self-awareness. Below are some of the characteristics of HSPs:

• You are very creative. 

• You are very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may become uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being watched or scrutinized. 

• You may experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly and can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and problems.

• You have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual, and may also have vivid dreams

• You have had the experience of "cutting people out" of your life

• You are very intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense if someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is wrong. 

That is me in a nutshell. 

Due to this, it is more important than with other people to surround myself with positive energy because I absorb people's moods, mannerisms and all sorts of things that might not benefit me. I am writing about this because I was in a good mood all day, and then by experiencing someone who wasn't in a good mood, I immediately dipped. I didn't build a shield to protect myself as I didn't see it coming, which will teach me to always have a shield on stand-by before I speak to people who aren't my family members, protecting me against psychic vampires. 

Illustration of how one absorbs or takes energy from others

Now, don't make a fuss. Psychic vampires are split into different categories, the one who is a psychic vampire out of greed and the other who is one out of need. The greedy ones are the drama queens (yes, I also have my moments), the aloof types who try to be mysterious and ignore you out of spite, the interrogators who ask a lot of questions that drain a person, the aggressive one who bully people and make others feel small and the pity-party ones who feed off your pity through their sad, sad life. These are the greedy ones. The accidental ones who get vampiric out of need may be sick people, depressed people who are going through a hard time temporarily and so on. I thought I put that out there, that not all psychic vampires have bad intentions. 

HSPs like me are like manna from heaven for psychic vampires, but also, we sometimes flock towards them because we can not ignore pain, lack of confidence, fear and all these things that people hide successfully, but that which we HSP see clearly. It then becomes a moth to a flame thing, the flame being the psychic vampire at the time. 

The "stuff" that needs to be shielded from others. 

This is why I am agoraphobic as I mentioned before. I can't handle crowds. They literally hurt me in places that most people have never felt. I can't stand noise unless it is for short amounts of time, and I can feel out the energy of my surrounding and of people as if it is written on the wall. This makes a person (me) quite troubled, anxious and eccentric. 

There are ways to handle it, of course, and I have implemented many of them successfully. Unfortunately, when people who do not understand this about me, and HSPs in general, observe my behavior, they always  say that I am snobbish and distant - until they get to know me, of course. They will accuse HSP of all sorts of evil when all we are doing is protecting ourselves. Another thing about HSPs is that we go extreme in substance abuse. We either don't touch drugs and alcohol at all, because the loss of control we feel under the substances make us feel more anxious, or, we take drugs a lot as a coping mechanism to numb the anxiety.

Another thing about HSPs is that, they struggle in relationships usually because they get overwhelmed by the partner. They prefer to see people in small doses, and I can relate with that. I can't live with anyone for too long before I get annoyed and need time away to recover somewhere on my own. This means, marriage can be a challenge because that comes with living together with another human who might be a nag, or a person who might be needy and take our behavior personally when it isn't.

As for the career that I am in, it poses a bit of a challenge. One thing about HSPs is stage fright, which you already know that I have in abundance, which I must admit, affects the quality of work I put out. Therefore, before and after a performance I NEED to be alone in a silent place. Call me a diva, but if that doesn't happen, a shitty performance shall follow filled with constrained vocal cords which sounds bad, sweating and shaking. During these silent moments of solitude, I am meditating to balance my heart-rate and make it slower. I do not build a shield before performing because I need to exchange my energy with the audience. After the performance though, I build a shield where I will be required to speak to people and mingle. 

This is an illustration of someone sitting in lotus position

Just to go into detail, so that this becomes helpful, I sit in lotus position on the floor, and take deep breaths, and concentrate on my breathing until I am calm and breathing slowly. I then pray and ask for The Creator, through his messengers, to protect, comfort and pour love into me so that I may be strong for the performance. After the performance, I give thanks, once again in lotus position, build that shield and ask for my messengers to proceed with the in pouring of love, protection and comfort, with the permission of The Creator. Call it superstition. Whatever! it works!  

I am a highly sensitive person. I am one of millions of my kind. Please don't assume that our demeanor is of superiority, snobbishness and attention seeking. We cocoon ourselves out of need, not out of desire. If it wasn't for our time alone, we would be rendered physically sick. We ask for your understanding when our mood change suddenly. It is not that we are bipolar (some are), we are merely energy sponges. Our loving nature, our gentleness, and our keen intuition and powers of deduction come with a price. The price is our often tumultuous, brooding and dark natures. We are channels and conduits for energy, and when not properly managed, we hold the harmful energy in. Be patient with us, even if you may not understand our plight. 

If I wasn't a Highly Sensitive Person, I wouldn't be an artist. Period. 

Thank You for Reading,

Veronnica Wolpendz

Love, Peace and Power! 

Trained to be HSP, but also lethal is the Shaolin Monk.

P.S. Just because we are sensitive doesn't mean we are push overs and cowards. We WILL kick your ass. Spiritually, we can drain you as much as you can drain us. Remember, we are sponges, and we can deplete you through spiritual warfare, verbal warfare or for those who are physically strong, (usually HSP men), we can give you an ass-whippin' that's not to be forgotten. Hence, we have enemies, who we have chastised through them thinking that they can walk all over us. 

I'm just sayin... I also feel better after purging through writing this post.