Beauty

"If anything is certain, it is that change is certain. The world we are planning for today will not exist in this form tomorrow." - Phillip Crosby


Love, Peace and Power

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Ugh! Bleh! Whatever!

Dearest Reader, The worst thing that I can ever experience is the realization of having hurt myself due to having a Pollyanna attitude. I am listening to Sia’s “Breathe Me”, as I write this, feeling as vulnerable as she is feeling in the song. This vulnerability and hurt is not caused by anyone but me. I am fully accountable for how I feel. I am not under any illusions that anyone is to blame for my scars, nicks and bruises. I did it. No one is to blame. And, what saddens me about this is: Why would I allow myself to hurt? Why would I choose to make my life anything but always happy? Is this a subconscious self-hatred manifesting? Do I like pain? Do I enjoy having tears come down my face instead of laughter and joy? I can’t tell that I am distressed anymore, that’s how distressed I am.  The only thing that is allowing me to know that all is not well are the symptoms of my anxiety. When I get to this point of stress, I make a conscious effort to disengage because nothin...
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By Jupiter!! A Hermit is Home On A Saturday Night?

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Dear Reader, I’m sitting at home on a Saturday night -and as Joan Rivers is bashing people’s outfits on Fashion Police in the background- I am wondering what an attractive, young thing like me is doing indoors when I should be painting the town red somewhere and kissing unsuspecting young men because these youngens seem to think I’m their age. Score! Anyway, I should be out somewhere looking at a tall, dark and handsome stranger across the room, who I engage with only to forget about him the next day. DO you get my drift? Actually, I know when this whole Hermit thing of mine started because I wasn’t always like this, believe it or not. As a matter of fact, I was so wild and out of control that my mother literally prayed daily for me to repent, bless her heart. During those days, my idea of fun was meeting new people, getting tipsy and being outrageous. I started becoming a Hermit when I started my music career, 4 years and 9 months ago in 2006 when I quit my job and realized ...
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Over it! No More. No Thanks!

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You know what? Fuck it! I have things to do, people to see, places to go and things to achieve.  I did the iron transfusion last week Thursday, shot an ad the next day on Friday, rested on Saturday, had a workshop on Sunday, went to the Embassy in Pretoria this Thursday, and rested in between. So, I have wasted enough time. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were a write off. So was Friday. I can't afford that. Of all the things I need to do, going to studio and doing two astrological charts are the only things left unticked. So, I am ticking those this coming week, screw how awful I feel. Seriously! Did I not once say, "Get my music career on top or die trying?" I did!! I am sure I even said, "In sickness and in health." Basically, this is what I committed myself to doing and this what I shall do.  Oh, and they put me on the pill to control my anemia. Well, I am getting off those devil's spawns of pills. I can not function with that crap i...
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