Lamenting About The White Racist African

Dearest Reader,

I have been thinking about racism lately. I have also been thinking about my naivety of thinking that I could live in a world where all cultures celebrated their differences without it causing problems. I pretty much have love for all people. I don't concern myself with people's cultures as a source of conflict because intrinsically, I know better. The problem though is that, my culture and ethnicity has been a concern for many people, and it has also been a source of many of their mental conflict, negativity and perversions.

I am a "victim" of being viewed by many ethnic groups and cultures as being an exception among an inferior, base and uncultured race.

This is especially directed to white Africans in this case, but Indians, mixed-race people and other cultures do have that inclination to view me, a black person, and say "Yeah, this one is alright" as if I am a pet in a menagerie, as if it is a surprise that my race and my ancestors could produce such a spectacular being. What ignorant fucks! You think you're better than me, huh? That will be your downfall, and the sooner you racists shake that attitude and know better, the sooner you'll find peace because this LIE will haunt you for as long as you believe it. Trust me.

I am very angry with white South Africans who will not be honest about what they are, i.e. racist. Hence I prefer the Afrikaaner South African who is usually out-front with his/her racist views because they have guts to embrace their thoughts, no matter how perverse the thoughts might be. I respect every TRUTHFUL and TRANSPARENT human, even racists. I may not like a truthful, racist though. A truthful person, no matter how damaged, has a better chance at healing than someone walking around in denial thinking they are not damaged.

It means nothing that you have had sex with a black person, or even that you have had a relationship of long standing with a black person. That doesn't exempt you from being racist, unfortunately. The fact that you dream, fantasize and wish you could touch a black person with desire and longing doesn't mean that you are not racist. So, just get over that shit of, "Some of my best friends are black" nonsense and the "I've dated a black person" diatribe. It is rubbish.

Okay, you have black friends and all, and that's great, but have you ever hung out at their black neighbourhood? Have you ever been to your black friend's house more than once, not out of curiosity, but out of love and friendship to get to know them better, to understand them? So, please, this business of "friends" and "lovers" won't cut it! Okay? I guess, it is another way white racists and their superiority are trying to fool us, and they think we will believe them because we are dumb, stupid, black monkeys who don't understand much, right?

I am sick to my stomach that some white people I considered friends turned out to be these types of people, so much so that at this juncture, I can not imagine myself having a romantic or any personal relationship (plutonic or not) with a white African, because they think that blacks are an inferior species. Never mind the fact that, some of them are walking around with our hearts, or livers from black organ donors, that some of them have been saved by blood which came from a black person, which logically proves that we are of the same species!! I am highly disappointed as I type this. They don't know what Ubuntu is, nor do they know what Universal love is. People who put so much emphasis on the vessel concern me very highly. And, if these people are racist to save face amongst their people, then I pity them even more. Look, if you're going to be anything, racist, pacifist, vegetarian, capitalist, or whatever, let it be from the heart? It is pathetic to be something because someone dictated it to you. Unless you are a child, blaming society, upbringing and nurture is not enough.

I can't be close to people who consider me to be less human, who treat me like their pets! I can not be around people who think that I am an anomaly, that I am different from my black brethren because they are wrong. I am one of many, many brilliant, intelligent and beautiful black people. I can not be around such people because I will be enabling their warped ideas about the black race. Maybe I was meant to teach them differently, but I can't see myself teaching people I don't respect. A teach/learn experience is that. I can not teach/learn from a racist. So, I imagine that I must remove myself from such people.

We are not animals! We are intelligent beings suffering the propaganda of imperialists slave masters! We are damaged because of the imperialist's thirst for blood, desire for separation and pleasure in discord. The fact that black people are sitting back allowing the atrocities that have been imposed upon us is not a sign of stupidity or weakness and you are a fool if you believe that! It is a sign of compassion, much stronger and wiser than racism, because we are not the type to kick those who are already down, down with false superiority and self-delusions.

Fuck! I don't know man.

I just found out that a friend of mine, for years, is one of them! And I am his token black friend, I guess? So, I am hurting deeply. I am also inclined to believe that most white Africans are racist, because the one who proved that they weren't turned out to be so. This is not an objective post, at all. Hang me if you like, but I speak of my personal truth at this point in time. I might change my mind when I see differently, or when I experience something different, but thus far, I have been let down and even those who shall claim to be my friends are one of them because a simple test of your friendship to me is: Have you ever been to my house growing up and why? Secondly: How many other black friends do you have? Thirdly: Have you ever been there for me, or have I been the one being there for you, i.e. The supportive, warm, funny black friend? If they aren't racist, they can prove it. Otherwise, I can't be bothered with such people.

I don't hate people except for racists. I can forgive many things but racism. Again, I find myself in a dirtier place then I thought I lived. Earth is a much uglier place today than it was last week. I hope our children's generation is better than our generation because we are currently fucked. How many white people wanted to be closer to me, but didn't because of this superiority complex? I wonder? I even wonder how many loved me but denied it because I was black! How many racists deprived themselves of my wisdom, power and love because of this superiority complex? I can only shake my head in dismay and leave it alone because this issue is so bigger than me right now, I can't even think straight. The implications that I have believed in people who didn't deserve me believing in them is almost love wasted, but what's fortunate is that, love can not be wasted. I am a lover of people. When I love, when I nurture and when I give, I am not doing a service, I am merely being myself. So, it wasn't a waste to think fondly, fairly and good of these people. I was just being myself.

To the white racist Africans, I like my people. I love my people! I am my people. To separate me from them is offensive! You can think whatever you like about us, but let me assure you that you are deceived. Live in your ignorance about our beauty and brilliance at your own peril. To not see beauty in us, is to deprive yourself of wonderful, godly and indescribable pleasure and knowledge. To not see us for who we are, but for the LIE that you have concocted is only a disservice to you. Yes, you lose more by thinking less of us, than we lose from you thinking less of us, trust me... Ask those who's lives I have touched. Ask your children who were raised by us! Ask your society which was built by us! Then you will know how you cheat yourself by thinking less of our race!

Also, remember this Racist-White-African, you are a product of slavery too. The proof of this slavery is this very superiority complex. Know this! Understand this about yourselves. Embrace this about yourselves. You will never find peace until you let go of that superiority. That is your curse, your learning opportunity, and your portal to evolution. You think you are better than black people? You believe it very much, don't you? Until you let go of that LIE, you will NEVER find peace. This is a promise, a curse, and a certainty. You are a coward! You are afraid of being humble and true, hence you hold on to these false beliefs. When you learn, and grow, and evolve finally, the "Exceptional Black Person" will be waititng for you and we shall greet you by saying, "Welcome Brother/Sister! I am glad you are free of the shackles of racism. I have been waiting to show you how beautiful the world is when we are working together as one." Until then... I don't suffer fools, so racism is just one of those things I can't tolerate, unfortunately, so I will see all the White', Racist African on the other side.

Veronnica Wolpendz
Love, Peace, Power!

When I get hurt on this level, I don't even cry. I just shut down. Racism is poison. And, we need to purge this poison or die slowly from it.

Edit: Racist. I, black person, am a catalyst to assist you in letting go of your foolishness which imprisons you, your superiority complex. Take it or leave it. Use us as we have used you as a catalyst in letting go of our foolishness that imprisoned us, our inferiority complex. If the changes don't happen by self-initiation, they shall occur through external forces, and you don't want to be humbled by an external force as it is tougher than this. We have been given centuries to get ourselves balanced, and yes, we are still a world in transition but, some of you are dragging your feet.

Be vigilant in being the person you were meant to be. Be vigilant in separating your ego from who you truly are, and defeating it. Be vigilant brothers and sisters. We will get balanced. We will heal. The question is, how: easily or difficultly. Use this chance to tackle your perversions and restore yourself to who YOU are because if you don't do it yourself, it will be done for you. Simple as that.

If you don't set yourself free now, you are going to be stuck the way you are for longer than necessary.