You know things have gone pretty insane when you dream of a drag queen called "Shangela". Yep, that is the result of my addiction to "RuPaul's Drag Race" a drag reality show competition with the bitchiest, sassiest and most outrageous people on Earth. That show is so good, I can't BELIEVE it didn't happen sooner. I don't know what Shangela was doing in my dream, but all I know is that I uttered her name in my half asleep stupor last night.
If that isn't insane enough, Beyonce gets tired of her restraint of attempting to be sophisticated and let's out the hood or hoodrat in her and releases a tune called "Bow Down" where she is telling "bitches" to "bow down" to her because she rules the world or something. I am not sure why she is making such demands, but whatever the reason, the outrageous nature of that musical installment has been the source of much joy and laughter and because of it, I am a Beyonce fan finally. Yes, she had to be ratchet ghetto for me to find her authentically fun.
Then, the Pope retires, and it presents a very unstable place to be for Catholics everywhere, or it should. If the head of your church, the one who speaks to God directly for you, resigns, what does it say about you being in that organization? Who is gonna speak to God for you? Wait! What the heck is Catholism anyway? A cult? Who cares! Everyone is in a cult. Anyway... After resigning, a scandal surfaces about the clergy being blackmailed by a gay group of thugs who had relations with these Catholic men. I dunno but outrageous and juicy. Then a new Pope takes over and the hate against gays continues from God's reps.
Oh, before all of this, a legless athlete crawls on his stumps from his bedroom to shoot his girlfriend while she's taking a wee. Yes, Oscar Pistorius, the blade runner, murders his girlfriend, emptying four bullets in her and claims that he thought it was a robber. Okay... From what I read of the affidavit, Oscar Pistorius is the worst liar on Earth or he was on heavy, heavy drugs that night. But, something is amiss with that story.
Oh, that's not all for the fuckery on Earth. Then there is this bright spark rapper who decided to sacrifice his friend in order to join the Illuminati. He didn't succeed, and we are thankful for that, but still, I seriously don't know when it became so easy for humans to just off one another, for stupid reasons too. Firstly, don't you get invited to join a club, or at least get told to sacrifice people as a way to get into a gang. You don't just randomly decide to kill people out of your own volition and expect a club to smell that you sacrificed a human for them. How are they supposed to know? Unless, the Illuminati is omnipresent. Oh, wait... I forgot. The Illuminati are demon worshipers, isn't it, so the demons would have felt him sacrifice his friend for them. What utter stupidity. I bet this same person could not kill a dog while he found it easy to attempt to kill his friend.
Yeah, what's with these "save the animal" campaigns when humans are the ones in need of real saving? Why do humans like animals more than other humans?
Then, there was this man who saw Jesus's face in bird poop and thought it was an omen. Omen for what? I dunno. Maybe Jesus's face in bird poop meant that Jesus will return as a bird? I don't know why people are always fascinated by seeing the face of Jesus in objects, like the face of Jesus on a biscuit, or on a potato. Okay, so what? I see the face of an Arab guy in the clouds all the time, and it doesn't mean it was Jesus. I think I can say with certainty that no one knows what Jesus looked like, so when these people see faces in objects, why is it Jesus?
|Behold, the Lord Jesus! Personally, it looks like a wolf.|
Look, you have to do further research on these stories because I didn't pay attention to them when they happened. I laughed and forgot about them, but now, in retrospect, I see a pattern. The pattern is a string of amusing events that have been happening one after another.
I advise for us to find some humour in all this mess going on world-wide because if we choose to get upset, we will die of heart attacks. There is just too much ridiculousness going on to be upset with every bit of it. Choose one to be upset about and laugh about the rest, for your sanity.
I won't even mention Rihanna getting back with the guy that beat her black and blue. Apparently people change. Well, she is more forgiving than I. I can forgive fuckery but to go back into fuckary, I highly doubt that. She must be experiencing that ride or die kind of love, I guess. I hope she is safe.
If I forgot any ridiculous story, please share. I am looking for laughs like a crack fiend looking for her pipe.