What A Few Years Will Do.
Hey There,
I have always afforded myself the prerogative to change my mind. It is the least I can do for myself. I treat changing my mind as a treat, something I do not do often but something I do when I have earned it. I earn the right to change my mind by practicing mindfulness, and thinking extensively about a subject. It is not done haphazardly and it is after I have considered whether it is done for the good of all. Only then do I change my mind about something. It is not superficial or thoughtless because that is how people get hurt, including the self.
When I started blogging, I was 25 years old. It is now 10 years later. Back then I swore off marriage and having children because truly, at the time, it was a bad idea because I was a hot mess, but most importantly, the people who were available to marry and procreate with were even hotter messes. It was just not going to happen under those circumstances, but that all changed in 2015 when I fully decided to be committed to another, and later when I chose to bring a life into this world.
I am now a mother to a most beautiful little girl, and I find myself having filled a hole in my being that I never knew existed. This doesn't apply to others and I speak purely for myself when I say that a person can walk through life for 35 years, thinking that they are fulfilled only to get even more fulfilled, even more satisfied and even happier than than before. I never knew that I actually needed to have a child until I had a child. I really had no idea that there was a part of my being that was lying dormant or empty and that it needed a child to awaken and fill up. Also, maybe there was no part that was asleep not a hole in me, but maybe a new psychological and spiritual limb grew when the baby was born.
The strange part of this is that I have only been a mother for about a month. It must be the oxytocin because a dramatic change like this can only be chemical or supernatural. Here I am, sleep deprived, exhausted and barely alive, but I am so happy and fulfilled I could explode. I certainly didn't expect this from motherhood, but I am grateful for its blessing. I am truly thankful for the expansion that being a mother has bestowed upon me.
Currently the planet Jupiter is transiting my first house, and although this is not an astrology post or blog, I thought that is is quite amazing how the position of heavenly bodies always coincides accurately with my life. In astrology, Jupiter in the first is all about the expansion of the self, where Jupiter bestows its Benefic blessings onto the native. It is very reassuring to know that whatever happens, Jupiter is there for me, making my life even better than it was before, happier than before and sprinkling fairy dust onto my being.
I feel really lucky and blessed right now and I am not taking it for granted. My life is not perfect, but that is perfectly alright. There are many areas to improve, many sad things to observe or consider, but with all such challenges, my life is blanketed by a beautiful glow of love, peace and a gentle power that I never knew I could have.
May we all be as blessed. Even though nothing lasts forever, I will forever remember this time as quite an enchanted and beautiful time of my life where I got to know a new facet of myself, a facet that allows me to see that I am limitless. May we all be blessed to be limitless beings of love.
Inana
I have always afforded myself the prerogative to change my mind. It is the least I can do for myself. I treat changing my mind as a treat, something I do not do often but something I do when I have earned it. I earn the right to change my mind by practicing mindfulness, and thinking extensively about a subject. It is not done haphazardly and it is after I have considered whether it is done for the good of all. Only then do I change my mind about something. It is not superficial or thoughtless because that is how people get hurt, including the self.
When I started blogging, I was 25 years old. It is now 10 years later. Back then I swore off marriage and having children because truly, at the time, it was a bad idea because I was a hot mess, but most importantly, the people who were available to marry and procreate with were even hotter messes. It was just not going to happen under those circumstances, but that all changed in 2015 when I fully decided to be committed to another, and later when I chose to bring a life into this world.
I am now a mother to a most beautiful little girl, and I find myself having filled a hole in my being that I never knew existed. This doesn't apply to others and I speak purely for myself when I say that a person can walk through life for 35 years, thinking that they are fulfilled only to get even more fulfilled, even more satisfied and even happier than than before. I never knew that I actually needed to have a child until I had a child. I really had no idea that there was a part of my being that was lying dormant or empty and that it needed a child to awaken and fill up. Also, maybe there was no part that was asleep not a hole in me, but maybe a new psychological and spiritual limb grew when the baby was born.
The strange part of this is that I have only been a mother for about a month. It must be the oxytocin because a dramatic change like this can only be chemical or supernatural. Here I am, sleep deprived, exhausted and barely alive, but I am so happy and fulfilled I could explode. I certainly didn't expect this from motherhood, but I am grateful for its blessing. I am truly thankful for the expansion that being a mother has bestowed upon me.
Currently the planet Jupiter is transiting my first house, and although this is not an astrology post or blog, I thought that is is quite amazing how the position of heavenly bodies always coincides accurately with my life. In astrology, Jupiter in the first is all about the expansion of the self, where Jupiter bestows its Benefic blessings onto the native. It is very reassuring to know that whatever happens, Jupiter is there for me, making my life even better than it was before, happier than before and sprinkling fairy dust onto my being.
I feel really lucky and blessed right now and I am not taking it for granted. My life is not perfect, but that is perfectly alright. There are many areas to improve, many sad things to observe or consider, but with all such challenges, my life is blanketed by a beautiful glow of love, peace and a gentle power that I never knew I could have.
May we all be as blessed. Even though nothing lasts forever, I will forever remember this time as quite an enchanted and beautiful time of my life where I got to know a new facet of myself, a facet that allows me to see that I am limitless. May we all be blessed to be limitless beings of love.
Inana
Comments
Your bundle of joy is so beautiful, she is so lucky to have been realized at such an amazing time. I remember in one of your posts talking about how you want to do the work of knowing who you are and be in alignment so much that you're not "fumbling" when you have your children (I paraphrase). We all are a work in progress but timing is the most amazing thing.
Wishing you all the best with motherhood, I imagine it to be the most fulfilling and amazing thing to go through.
There is great love here for you:)