Happy Even When I am Not Supposed To Be.

Hey There,

Things are moving quite along in the music front. Pre-Production stage of recording is not a joke. It is the hardest as far as I have experienced. This is something that music makers aren't aware of. The business behind the glossy product, the hard work before the sweet sounds. There is so much that needs to be done before a song is even sent to a producer. There are so many people involved in the conveyor belt of song making, and we are not even at the part where we deal about image, marketing strategies and all that stuff that PR execs have made so popular through reality shows and magazines.

What I can say with great joy is that the music that is being birthed is quite spectacular. I am so happy with it, and that, my dear souls, is only because I have a record label that concentrates on me, not a record label that sees me as a number, but one that sees me as an artist and as a commodity, one which can be moulded, refined and presented to the world with all parties involved feeling pride and accomplishment.

It seems like I am talking before the eggs hatch, but I know when I know, and I know that the writing of songs that has gone on is one that will be remembered. Basically, it will not be the product that lacks lustre if things do not go as planned. And, because I am working with a dedicated team of professional with a single vision, I have no doubts that all delegates will perform their stations with flying colours.

All I am waiting for now is to tick that part of the list that says, "Hear My Song On Radio". In fact, I am more excited about radio than I am with music videos because I am self-conscious and reserved. In fact, if I had the boldness of Daft Punk, I would wear a mask and hide my face and just let it be about the music, but there is more to that. Or be like the Gorillaz and be an animated character. That would be easier, but I have more to do about myself as a human, and it involves me showing my face. My face needs to be seen, not for vanity's sake, but for a purpose bigger than me.

The purpose is: You can do it your way, as Old Blue Eyes once sang. You can dream it, and systematically achieve it with patience and staying true to yourself, without any casualties along the way. I can testify that, I am not the easiest person to understand but that doesn't mean that I can not be understood. By clarifying that the music I make is not from me but that it comes through me, it makes things easier to understand because it becomes less about the self and more about the art and the people that I am making it for. This then eradicates needless drama, ego and confusion. So, by showing my face, I just want people to see that a basic, run of the mill woman like me, can make her dreams come true, if she pleases. By staying on the path, and not straying from the initial calling of one's passion, one might live to see the day when one's dreams come true.

This applies to everyone. There are no special people with better gifts than others. I am not the best singer, nor am I the best song-writer or best guitarist. But, I had a dream, or purpose, or goal, and with patience, hard work and discipline, I am able to be here today, feeling like a Goddess, having the freedom to do what most think is impossible, and having the honor to do what I enjoy as my career and job. With a little help from one person who believes in you, after you believe in yourself more than everyone else, you can find yourself living your dream.

Now, remember that we are at pre production stage, and already I feel that my dreams have come true, and I am overflowing with gratitude, joy and pure pleasure. No matter what happens, no one can ever take this priceless feeling from me. I feel accomplished already and no one knows who I am. I feel like I have won, and I have not yet entered the race. I feel like I have overcome and I have not even had the songs come out.

I am thankful. I am humbled. I am indebted to the ones who have given me the gift to manifest the thoughts that have hounded and haunted me almost all my life. I already feel validated. Imagine that. Imagine that. Well, I don't have to imagine it. I am now living it. I am reeling from the excitement and love I feel from living the life I was supposed to live. Maybe this is the very feeling that I was born to feel, and I might die tomorrow. If so, then goodbye. I died happy. If I live another day, I will carry on just on this wavelength and frequency of joy and gratitude, and take nothing for granted.

Lord, knows... I take nothing for granted. I have experienced the opposite of this, and so I know that what I have is nothing but godliness and love showing off through me. I just want to spread the good vibes and hug people. I want to make others feel the way I feel. That's how I know it is true, because this feeling wants to multiply itself, and not in me but through others.

Anyway, let me end here. The cat has come into my bedroom, and he is such an attention whore that, she will soon sit on my keyboard, and stop this blogging nonsense.

So, good night.



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