Listening to Massive Attack, False Flags while writing this:
I am not complaining much. I just have a migraine and life is tainted with a sooty hue which is making me uninterested in being awake right now. The only anti-histamines I have are going to knock me out if I take them, and I have things to do but, I can't do them with thi headache so I might as well take the antihistamine and doze off.
I have good news and bad news.
Good news is: I am officially a television actress. Bad news: I am still friggen recording the album that has been worked on for a quarter of my life. *sigh* *exaggerating*. We are going a different direction with production, so just consider the songs that you have heard from me as a demo. Actually, I don't know, man. All I desire is to make music that can be heard by the masses, but all I am getting is acting jobs, voice over jobs, business deals, and all sorts of lucrative ventures, but just not the one I was hoping to get first.
I guess, life happens while you're making other plans. I remind myself of Johnny Depp. He and I wanted to be musicians so badly, but we got given another hand. And, we are good at acting, probably better than we are musicians. *sigh*
Whatever. I am taking life each day at a time. So, let me go on with the good news, bad news update.
Good news: My first book is coming along well. Bad news: I have been stuck for more than a month because I am scared to cry over the scene that I am meant to write, about the day I got raped. *sigh*. I am afraid to cry! I cry so often but when I know I am going to cry, I fear it. It is better to be surprised by tears than to invite them. So... yeah...
Good news: There's going to be a big shindig at my father's homestead. There will be mass slaughter of cows, goats and chickens for the entire community to feast upon. I am one of the honored guests. Well, I am family so... Bad news: I can't handle the smell of dead animals, so I am probably going to get ridiculed for shying away from that . Whatever, while they slit animal throats, I will be on twitter describing the entire ordeal in detail..
Good news: I am happy. Despite the migraine, I am a happy young woman who feels empowered, beautiful and close to being 100% healthy (anemia). I am glad. My heart is full. And, I keep on waking myself up at night because I am giggling with elated laughter. I never remember what I am laughing about, but I have fun asleep and awake. And, the bad news is that: I can't please everyone as I am pleased, and that some people aren't pleased when I am pleased. I wish everyone would just be happy and unafraid. But, the world we live in is relative and there are some unhappy sods out there who like to spread the gloom despite the fact that they don't have to.
Good news: My business life is going well. By the time I am 33 or 34, I wish to be reaping fruits that I have planted so lovingly. Bad news: Waiting for the fruits to bear fruit is like how I imagine shitting bricks must feel.
Okay, that is all kiddliwinks!
This is the song that was playing as I finished writing this update:
Massive Attack feat Madonna "I Want You"