Dearest Reader, 

Of all the things I have studied on Earth, the subject which I study diligently is the subject of Self. Therefore, as I learn about the world, it is always in relation to the Self. I think they call this being self-centered, and I believe that it has negative connotations in our society, but let me tell you something utterly blasphemous: Selfishness, being self-centered  and self-involvement are your KEY to salvation because they are the seed of self-evaluation and self-actualization. So, it is impossible for me to engage in anything without bringing it within first, and observing its influence upon me and ALMOST embracing it, in order to see if its vibration is in harmony with mine, or not. This observation and near embracing of things is sometimes called empathy.

Please note: Selfishness and all things pertaining to the self as mentioned above are but the first step to understanding one's being. It doesn't stop there, although some people do remain there longer than necessary. This is their choice, but the truth is, self-involvement is separating oneself from others, therefore to remain self-involved for anything other than self-evaluation and healing is detrimental to one's evolution. One can not learn the loftier skills, lessons and qualities of intuition, compassion, love and oneness if one remains in the "ME" stage for gratification. The "Me" stage is a KEY to salvation. It is NOT salvation. It is merely a tool to re-member the multi-facets in the human 3 dimensional interface. (I will leave it right there before I spiral too much out of control on this.)

Whatever I enjoy, or whatever I find distasteful is always felt without too much blame on other people. I know that when I am offended, a person has merely said something which I have thought of about myself, and that my offense is based on their words confirming these negative thoughts about myself. Similarly, I know that when I enjoy and feel pleased about people's words toward me, it is usually something I have already thought of regarding the self, and their words have merely validated what I already thought about myself. If someone says something about me which I have never contemplated, it is usually greeted with a blank stare and wonder of its validity because it has nothing to trigger, positively or negatively.

When something affects us negatively, most people react defensively and either send back the negativity to the sender, or some defend themselves by not retaliating if their opponent, or they won't retaliate due to just being fearful, without even knowing if their opponent is more powerful than they. One thing us warriors know is that, you never go into a battle if you're going to lose. You go in it to win it, or you die trying. If death is not desirable, then one needs to know their enemy. Therefore, the defensive move of striking immediately after someone strikes you, is quite idiotic because you might hit back at someone who was hoping you would hit back because they have studied you in order to use your impulsiveness against you.

The best way to handle an opponent is to NEVER strike until you know their strengths and weaknesses. Also, you NEVER strike until you have planned your move, never strike until you have made sure that you ARE more powerful than your opponent, and you never strike until their demise is certain. Otherwise, go back to the drawing board and study your enemy, train yourself and your troops and perfect  your plan. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I turn the other cheek. This is why you should turn the other cheek, in order to retreat, go back to your resources and see how to finish your enemy off. So, as you can see, it is a lot about knowing oneself and one's resources, capabilities and weakness which strengthens a person against the challenges, the enemies, that life throws at them.

The enemy can be anything. It can be a human, it can be society, it can be some sort of mentality which a group of people possess, and it can even be an organization. If you plan to overcome, you had better know yourself. You NEVER go in half-cocked with an ego into battle. NEVER! You need to be your own worst critic and your worst enemy in order to defeat your worst critic and your worst enemy. 

Therefore, exercise the following:

  1. Always approach any human with humility, reverence and respect. You don't know who they are. Until you do, deem yourself to be in the presence of godliness, love and power because you might just be in the presence of such.
  2. Do not speak badly about other people to someone you don't know. Be factual. Be honest. Be neutral in your information. Be objective. The reason being, you could be speaking to his/her best friend, lover, friend, etc. I'm not saying lie. If it is negative what you have to say, speak of facts and don't dwell on it. Keep it moving.
  3. Do NOT try to show a stranger how much you have, how much you know, who you know, where you've been, etc. Do not volunteer information. Give information, including advice when solicited. If you have advice to give, ask if it is welcome and keep it brief. Don't get high on the energy the listener is giving you and act pompous. 

If you do not care to observe these points, and prefer to act rashly and foolishly, be prepared to get your ass kicked. If your ass isn't kicked right there and then, you're unlucky because it will occur when you least expect because there are people out there who are calculative. These people will sit for a while devising a plan to chastise fools who go into things half-cocked. 

I have always tried to suppress the side of me that is vengeful because I think it is a side that is primitive. For all the pain and annoyances that have been inflicted on me, I truly do not want to do the same to others. I literally dislike making other people feel pain. BUT... there are times when one has to stop abuse from another in self-defense, but in essence, murder is still murder even in self-defense to me. I have always been presented with such situations. I always walk away, and try to meditate on my heart fostering some sort of forgiveness and healing. Somehow, I never quite heal until I have avenged myself directly or indirectly. It makes me feel more ape than human, honestly, that I have to see my enemies chastised, either by them humbling themselves to me, or by me humbling them through my actions. 

I have much darkness in me.I can't suppress it though. If someone has triggered my innate darkness within me, it must run its course. And so it shall be. My only hope in such cases is boredom. The only thing that takes my eyes off the enemy is being bored of them. Then, in such cases, I can move on because they no longer trigger my darkness. 

But, as Nas said, "some beef is everlasting."

When I encounter darkness from people, I don't think I attracted it because I am dark or evil. If I attract darkness from another, I take it as an opportunity to validate who I am. In a case of being attacked by another, I have to ask myself "Am I peaceful because if I am, I would walk away?" or "Am I a coward, because if I am, I would walk away?" or "Am I not to be not to be messed with because someone has messed with me, and if I walk away, can I still say that I can't be messed with?" In order to define myself as something, I have to act it. In case of being treated with cruelty, WHO AM I and what am I going to do TO BE WHO I AM in this scenario?

Every act is an act of self-definition. You can't say you are brave yet act like a coward. So, according to WHO I AM, I must act accordingly, and so should all of us. First, we think before we act.

Love, WAR and Power.

P.S. In my name "Veronnica Wolpendz" you can spell out the words, "Love, Peace and Power", hence I use that as my signature. But, alas, you can also spell out the words , WAR, WEAPON and last but not least, you can spell out WINNER. 

The "NO", "NOT" or "NOR" in a name, in the art of lexigramming, means that whatever the person is accused of, the answer will be "NO". You can read up on lexigrams. If in the name one can spell out the word "YES", that person will be accused and deemed as accused.


Absolute Brilliance, my friend.

You speak so eloquently, and it's a good reminder for myself.


Thank you.
Thanks for commenting. As I always say, when I write, I'm speaking to myself because I need to remember these things too.
Anonymous said…
Happy birthday Veronnica. Love and respect. B
Thank you for the birthday wish, B. Xoxox Thank you for the birthday wish, B. Xoxox
Anonymous said…
It would seem You have triggered quite a thing within me that not even I can sub-self-negotiate a stop to. Fire. A Fear consuming Fire. Your Fire. Merciless.

I come here for odes to bravery, unhinged & unapologetic exhibitionsism, for refreshingly profound silliness(LOL), I come here for depth & refuge.

Arsonist. I wish you stillness.

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