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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I am the Phantom Menace Incarnate!


Dear Reader,

I am a bad mofo! A menacing phantom. Meoow! *paw out*
I came to the conclusion that I must have been one mean motherf*#$er to have pulled toward me such grueling life experiences. Karmically, I must have screwed a lot of people over. I must have been Hitler or something, or worse, one of those evil mofos whose names aren’t recorded in history because they were just too hardcore.

I can see it now, I die and the Karma Council gathers in the astral world and looks at me with reproof and disappointment and says, “You were not incarnated on Earth to enslave the masses and cause carnage on the natives of the planet! Now look at you! All damaged because your power engulfed you instead of you controlling the power. So, on that note, you have to go back to Earth and undo the damage you did to yourself and to learn compassion.”

I respond, “I understand. You are the Karma Council. I can’t argue with you but may I just say… why is it so easy to lose one’s way? I didn’t do the things I did because I was intrinsically evil. I just did them because… quite frankly, I did what I did because I could do it.”

A council member speaks from behind the main speaker, he looks older and wiser and he says, “If we did what we do due to our abilities then, surely we would have destroyed the human race to save them from themselves, but there is a thing we call Free Will and Love, which we have to respect in praise of the One Infinite Creator,” and they bow as they mention The Creator, “But, you were incarnated with abilities to assist the Earth, not to imprison them any further.”

It wasn't me! Pwomiss!
I sigh, and look at the council in boredom and regret, and a bit of sorrow of having forgotten who I was before I incarnated into Earth and then my face hardens as I regain my resolve, “The light of The Creator shines even dimmer in the lower realms, and I know I was meant to be of service to others, but I have seen the light and I believe service to self is my true calling.”

“Your Higher Self seems to think differently. You have not yet chosen to be any of the two. You have merely regressed to become one who has not yet chosen. Therefore, you shall return to Earth and be incarnated as the females you raped, the natives you enslaved, the sick you have mocked and called weak, and you shall experience what your actions have reaped. You shall have your helpers as always who shall guide you, and I hope you can choose what is meant for you,” says a Karma Council Member.

“It won’t change anything. Wherever you send me, I shall regain my place and be what I am now,” I respond indignantly.

Then a Council Member comes to me. “We of the Karma Council of Saturn will now take you to the waiting chamber of Love and nothingness for some healing as some extensive damage has been caused to your lightbody. When the time is right, you shall be incarnated back to earth. We shall be looking from here, observing. Your guides will be with you.”

Beam me up, Scotty!
As, I get transported teleportically to the healing chambers, I wonder why that last council member looked at me with such sadness. “Maybe we knew each other”, I say as I shoot to the chambers. Then out loud I say, “Anyway, who cares. I have to get back to Earth and create more havoc there as soon as I get there. Ugh, I wonder what experiences they will throw at me when I get there. Nothing I can’t handle, for sure.”

Anyway, these are the things that keep my mind occupied. Scenarios like these. Don’t ask me where I get such crap. I don’t know either. Maybe it is too much Sci-fi and fantasy. I mean… it is my favourite genre so of course, when I think, I do think in those terms. I don’t know. One thing I know is that, were it not for the life experiences I had, I would have been a total asshole. I don’t doubt it at all. I know that when I am about to get out of hand, something always happens to me to slow my roll, and hits the breaks. All these incidences always have me asking whether I want to be the person I am turning out to be and I always choose otherwise. It is a pattern I am starting to see.

Die!
I once saw a psychic back in the day and she told me that the dark side wants me back on their side or dead. She said that in my past life I was an influential member of the dark side and that the worst thing that could happen for them is if I remember the dark side’s secrets and use them for good. Of course, I deemed what she said as BS, just for my sanity, not because what she said was BS because I don’t know how psychics operate really. For all I know she could be telling the truth, but then, the last time I checked, I was not Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, so I figured she liked Sci-fi just as much as I did. Then she told me that a powerful person is watching me, making sure I succeed, which freaked me out hectically because who the hell is this powerful person and what is he to me? Anyway, that day, my friends and I were so spooked, that it was the last time we saw a psychic. I think we prayed after that and asked Jesus to protect us. Aahhh, being young.

The Chubby Dude!
The psychic also told me that I was going to marry someone who I shall have a “pull and push dance and Tango” with him and that I should stick with him because he is THE ONE. Yeah, if a relationship is not pull and push, I must forget about it because it’s not HIM. When “He” arrives, I will hate and like him and pull him close and then push him away and he will do the same to me. Sounds kinda toxic, but hey, if it’s THE ONE, what can I do? She also said he would be rich. *Laughing Out Loud* Now, I haven’t done a tango with any man. No, I am decisive and it is either you’re in or you’re out! Secondly, I have not fallen for a rich man. Ever! Rich in my books is wealthy, and the card she pulled out was a tarot card with a fat man sitting amongst many golden cups and she said that this card was my GUY. Firstly, he is fat? Say what? (You see what I mean? I can be an asshole, but no worries… life has taught me to love all shapes and sizes because I was quite the chubby one too.). Rich in my books is a home in Monaco (and a yacht of course), a home in Hyde Park (UK) and a home in NY (upper east side). Rich to me is fulfilling my sexual fantasy of sex on the balcony of a Monaco apartment and watching the Formula 1 through binoculars after. I haven’t met someone like that. Instead, I am meeting people who are hustling like the rest of us, so… psychic woman got it wrong. *cue booby prize sound*

I don’t know what I was supposed to be writing about here. There was no point to this blog, I guess. I hope it was weird and fun, like me. I’m weird and fun.

*shakes my head*

Later
V
xoxo


11 comments:

Anonymous said...

thats was an exceptional read, u clearly are twisted in a very interesting and magnificent way. Are u sure u in the right profession?

Veronnica Wolpendz said...

LMAO!

Thanks. Which profession would you suggest? :)

AbsintheDragonfly said...

Maybe you should go for the chant style singing of Bob Dylan with these types of thoughts...only much prettier to listen too :D

Me likey very much, and me love you long time!

*MWAH*

Hiro Protaganist said...

Love the way you write V! You're very talented and i hope all great things come to you! :-)

Love your story! Had me laughing my ass off lol!

D

Veronnica Wolpendz said...

Hiro, Thank you. I'm happy that you laughed. Xox

Absinthe, that is an idea. I'll try to channel Bob Dylan and see what I come up with. Lol. X

Anonymous said...

Music is the diet of the soul.


www.funandfunnyonly.blogspot.com

Maquina said...

Really hard to make one clear idea out of your posts. may be i am too lazy or maybe too stupid i dunno lol you do it on porpouse dontcha? or maybe for the lulz? :$

Veronnica Wolpendz said...

lol,

these last couple of days I've been scatter-brained, but as far as this post, it was a continuation from the last blog and what must have been the karmic reason for this life's experiences.

I know... My last two posts have been insane.

Anonymous said...

well, you must have had some good lifes too, to become the person you are.

~~pire~~

Veronnica Wolpendz said...

Hello pire, darling

Thank you for stopping by hun. You are right. I must have done something right along the way here.

Love ya!

X

Veronnica Wolpendz said...

Hello pire, darling

Thank you for stopping by hun. You are right. I must have done something right along the way here.

Love ya!

X