Inana

Dearest Reader, Today, I was listening to John William's song called Schindler's List (Theme) and I was playing it in repeat. I still am. I should be writing a workshop outline, or sleeping, but instead I can't stop listening to this beautiful song. Here it is, then you can listen to it as you read on.   I have never given marriage a thought as anything more than a foreign idea, in a way that I would think of being on the Moon. I can speak about marriage. I have opinions about it. I even know that I am not the marrying type, and not because I am not "marriage material" but simply because I think marriage is bullshit that should be discontinued as soon as possible.  Then, today, as I was listening to this song, images came into my head that made no sense. I wasn't sure whether I was having a dream of me in another body, or whether I was fantasizing, or whether I was thinking in general, but I saw a most odd and similarly most wonderful vision. ...

Dearest Reader, For a change, I am writing a work related blog. I think it is important for me that you guys know my imperfect mind and way of thinking, but also just as important is showcasing my talents and trying to put myself out there in order to get jobs for the skills that I have. The days of being a lady of leisure are gone. I am back into hustle mode, and it has raised my pulse more than I ever thought it would, but I know that it is for a good reason. Firstly, my agent and agency is Stark Raving Management . The name goes perfectly with me, but I assure you that from what I have seen thus far from the CEO Kimberleigh Stark there is nothing but order and discipline from her team, and I like that. Her agency has represented many actors and actresses, artists and other specialists in the arts since 2003, therefore they are sitting with a decade of experience. What I enjoyed with getting to know this team, especially Kimberleigh is that our energy clicked. It was not so...

Dearest Reader, One thing that you may not know about me is that I am stubborn and a bit unapologetic about who I am. I remember on my first years of getting into "Showbiz" and asking myself how I was going to get my foot in. I remember being told that I should socialize and rub shoulders with the "Who's Who" of the industry, and at one point, it was suggested that I date someone in the limelight. I refused all of those strategic and probably very useful suggestions and said, " I will not be known for anything but myself". I am proud. I am proud of the skills I have developed, work that I have produced thus far, and of the people who have had faith in me because of the work I have produced. Basically, I don't want to be famous, and worst of all, I don't want to be famous for being famous or for being famous for being some man's malignant tumor. I refuse. I desire to be accomplished and known for my accomplishments! Period. Otherwise, y...

Dearest Reader, I am going through something quite awkward right now and I thought... "Why not write about it?". So, I came back from a very cool meeting this afternoon, with my agent. We spoke about this and that, but mainly about my bright future and then, when that was done, I was craving a bit of chocolate, so I went to a restaurant with wi-fi connection and sat there and did some work while binging on a chocolate fondant.. I sat quietly almost all day, just browsing the net and just sending emails, waiting for my two tardy friends. These friends are unfocussed and don't know the meaning of time but at least one of them showed up. When she finally did, we didn't even sit for an hour before a party started forming around us. Now, I am the stuck up looking, "Thank you, but I don't drink" girl on the ol' laptop when there is actually a party going on around me. It is someone's birthday and I am feeling weird because even though I came her...

Dearest Reader, It started at 00:55 with goose bumps and my hair standing up. The right side of my head started crawling as if tiny bits of electric nanotech ants were marching on my head. The feeling was sort of nice but also uncomfortable. I immediately sat in lotus position and built a globe of a shield around me of bright white light. I reinforced it three times. My body shivered with every bit of reinforcement of the shield. Then I sat still and listened to my body again to see if everything was fine. “I hope no one is jerking off to me,” I thought to myself thinking about the energy surge I just got. Of course, it means my body couldn’t handle all the energy I was receiving at that time, and so it was dispersed on my head. That was the tingling feeling on the right side of my head. My question was: "Where did the energy come from?" I couldn’t tell, so I stopped guessing. Then, a few minutes later, I experienced a dip in energy, as if someone just told me th...

Dearest Reader, I always say to myself that, just because I know that I am going through meaningful tough times doesn’t make the times less tough. Just like currently, I know that I am going through a process of recalibration and of balancing some karma. I have become quite an expert in identifying signs of labour pains that occur whenever I am having a death/rebirth process of letting go of my old self and becoming a new being. This is what is happening to me now, and it is a pity that it has to be so uncomfortable. Going from a lower energy vibration to a higher energy vibration is not fun. It comes with lots of irrational fears merely caused by entering a new level of consciousness. I am being greeted by LOVE/TRUTH energy, higher vibrating energy and it is unraveling me at the seams. I am writhing and squirming from a pain which has no rational source. I am not sure when it will end. All I know is that it will pass and that I must not avoid, resist or suppress any of it...

Dearest Reader,  Why is it that my friends give me bad advice? And, why do I listen to it? I mean, it is good because it gets the job done but, it is bad because it is so ego based, it is almost unhealthy. Is it naive or stupid for me to be honest? Yes, probably! In the world we live in, being honest will get you right in the deep recesses of Satan’s crack, that is, somewhere painful and torturous. You will be punished and you will be forced into living in the fringes of society because of living your truth. For example, I am a social outcast and I have ruined my reputation for expressing my desire for a guy. I have always been called stupid for doing this because I always end up here, i.e. alone, confused and disappointed. I have ruined my reputation because apparently, this guy has shared this information with his friends, and is now laughing at me because only desperate losers with no life do what I do. Worse than that, even after being told to fuck off, like a dog, ...